The Perfect Gift
by Evil-Zero
Summary: Tenchi is looking for a way to tell Ryoko how he feels. WARNING! Major cast bashing. Including deaths!
1. The Perfect Gift

I do not own Tenchi or any of the characters related to the Tenchi Muyo series. The first Half of this story is someone else's. I mearly edited but the rest and all subsequent stories are mine. If you are the original Author and would like your name credited tell me and I will put your name up as I have not got it. 

The perfect gift

By Evil_Zero

Anything in _Italics and (Brackets) is the author_

Tenchi lay in bed absently twirling the small bell attached to the red string. Ryoko had given it to him just before her little "game" at the school. That had been almost a year ago. In fact the day after tomorrow would make it a year exactly since he had released her from the cave. And despite everything, the crazy adventures, the wild houseguests, and everything else, he had held onto this one tiny gift from Ryoko. He had never told her how he felt about her... not really. (_Jackass)_

It was partly because he was afraid of Aeka. (_Wimp_) She was his friend, but whenever Ryoko even joked about being together with him she went ballistic. She attacked Ryoko even when she had to go through Tenchi to do it.

Another reason was that he didn't want to hurt anyone. But none of that seemed to matter anymore. He knew that Aeka would be mad, but he had to do this. He was hurting them more by not telling them. The other night he had seen Ryoko on the roof with tears in her eyes and he (_Finally_) realised that he loved her and not Aeka. It had been too much.

The bell in his hand jingled and snapped him out of it. He looked at it and smiled. Tomorrow he would find her the perfect gift. Smiling he put the bell back around his wrist, then leaned over to turn off the light. Closing his eyes he thought of Ryoko and drifted off to sleep.

The next day Tenchi took a bus into town. He had told the others that he had something he had to check on and they hadn't asked anything else. Ryoko had tried to hug him and Aeka had pulled her off starting another fight that Sasami and Mihoshi were still trying to break up. He could still hear a few blasts as he stepped onto the bus. As he rode along Tenchi had some time to think. (_Please Die Aeka_)

He knew he was extremely lucky to have found so many people who cared about him. It was odd to think that he was related to the king of the universe. Aeka always thought that one-day he'd marry her and rule the universe. (_Dream on bitch Ryoko's paying me good money for some bits in this story…Errr Oooppssie never mind that bit_) It was a tempting idea and one he'd actually considered at one point. (_WHAT!!!) But it wasn't going to happen. (_Thank God_) Aeka was just too... scary. (_Weird_) He liked her, but he couldn't see himself ruling the universe at her side. And he loved Ryoko. (__£50 please Ryoko)_

He didn't know when he realised it. Maybe when he had gone to save her from Kagato. Maybe sooner or later, he wasn't sure. He pulled the signal and the bus slowed to a stop. Getting off Tenchi looked around him at the stores and people around him. There was a flower shop on the corner.

He thought about going there, but shook his head. He looked around trying to figure out just what to get her. Tenchi looked around and saw a small store off to the corner. A sign outside said, "Design your own gift." He smiled and walked inside.

Ryoko lay back on the roof looking out at the lake. It had started out as such a nice day. She had only tried to hug Tenchi goodbye. Then that spoiled brat had grabbed her to pull her off of him. She wasn't even trying to seduce him. Why did Aeka always have to be so mean to her? Calling her a demon, a slut, and all those other horrible things.

She had saved Aeka's life, had proven that she was not responsible for what happened on Jurai. Had even forgiven her for trying to kill her and Tenchi. Why couldn't Aeka just let her give Tenchi a hug? She smiled thinking of the times she had seen Tenchi playing by the cave. She had always wanted to play with him. But then she remembered what happened when he let her out.

The sword had hurt her. He was afraid of her. After over a year he still hadn't said how he really felt about her. The only thing that gave her hope was that he hadn't promised himself to anyone else either. And he didn't seem as afraid of her as he used to be. She smiled, lying back to enjoy the sun.

"Ryoko! Stop being so lazy and get down here to do your chores you freeloader."

Ryoko growled and kept her eyes closed hoping she'd go away, but Aeka just kept yelling at her.

"Aeka will you just shut up for once? I finished my chores already."

Aeka snorted, "Yeah right! That's a likely story. Wait until lord Tenchi sees you lying about. Then he'll see just how lazy you are and kick you out." (_What is this LORD TENCHI crap all about anyway?)_

Ryoko sneered at her and teleported. She appeared over the lake and lay back down in the air. At least out here the princess couldn't bother her. She wished Tenchi would have listened when she tried to tell him what Aeka was like. Then again if he had he wouldn't be the sweet guy Ryoko loved. She smiled down at the water below her, twirling her finger in it. She remembered when Ryo-oki had crashed in this exact spot after Yosho had hit her. 

She hadn't been in control of herself, but she could still see everything. Still remember everything she'd been forced to do. Sasami had forgiven her for what happened on Jurai. Tsunami had always known who was responsible. Suddenly the water below her glowed brightly and Ryoko flew back.

Tsunami's form rose up and smiled at her. "You called?"

Ryoko smiled back, still a little jealous of the goddess's beauty. "Not really. Just thinking."

Tsunami smiled and winked. "Well why don't you tell me what you were thinking about?"

Ryoko sighed and lay back staring up at the clouds. "Same thing I've been thinking about for eighteen years."  (_D'UH)_

Tsunami smiled and nodded, "Tenchi."

Ryoko smirked and looked at her. "Gee, how did you guess?"

The goddess smiled and ignored the sarcasm. "It can't be all that bad? After all you live here with him, you have friends like Mihoshi, Washu, Sasami, Ryo-oki, Noboyuki, Yosho, and me."

Ryoko smiled and looked at her. "I notice you didn't mention Aeka."

Tsunami sighed sadly and looked at her. "No, I didn't. Unfortunately Aeka and her father have one thing in common."

Ryoko nodded. "Yeah, they're both insane." (_Damn right she is_)

Tsunami didn't comment.

Ryoko sighed and looked at her. "Well since you know so much, how do you think Tenchi feels about me? Does he hate and fear me as much as I think he does?"

Tsunami smiled and shook her head. "Ryoko, he has never hated you. He is no longer afraid of you. And you have nothing to worry about."

Ryoko looked up, "And why is that?"

Tsunami smiled and shook her head. "It is not my place to say. But things may be clearer tomorrow." With that she began sinking back into the lake.

"Wait a minute! What's that supposed to mean?" (_It means you still owe me £20 Ryoko…Thank You_)

Tsunami just giggled and disappeared.

Ryoko growled and flew up into the air. Tsunami was way too much like Washu. They always expected people to work things out for themselves.

Tenchi looked through the store for a while, trying to figure out just what to get Ryoko. He thought of having a plaque made, but that didn't seem right. He saw the plush animals and grinned. Ryo-oki was already cuter than all of them. (_Meow) (__You're welcome Ryo-oki)_

He was beginning to wonder if he would ever find anything worthy of her. Something that could make up for all the pain and torment she had been through in her life. Tenchi felt his heart clench at the thoughts of Ryoko's past. He wished so much that he could erase the memories for her, but he couldn't. All he could do was help her make new ones. (_There's an extra charge for that stuff Ryoko_ and _get that grin of your face Tenchi, small children might read this_)

Suddenly from behind him he heard something. He turned and his face broke out into a big smile. That was it! It was so perfect. He walked up to the cashier and told the man exactly what he wanted it to look like.

Aeka frowned as she swept up the patio. So Ryoko's chores had already been done. It was probably just that monsters way of trying to make Tenchi think she wasn't really as lazy as she was. Why couldn't she understand that Tenchi was hers? He was meant for her by blood. Nothing else mattered.

So Ryoko loved him, so Ryoko was just a bit prettier than she was. It didn't matter because she had the blood bond. Ryo-oki came over and began hopping around her legs meowing. Aeka frowned and batted her with the broom. "Shoo you little fuzz ball." (_Lets start the we all hate Aeka Club…and don't worry Ryo-oki I'll make it up to you later)_

Ryo-oki hissed and ran off. Sasami came up behind her. "That wasn't very nice Aeka."

Aeka turned and looked at Sasami. "I'm sorry Sasami but I'm not in a very nice mood right now. That rotten Ryoko is up to some nasty trick and I don't know what it is."

Sasami frowned. "I don't know why you don't like her Aeka. Ryoko is a nice person."

Aeka looked at her shocked. "How can you say that Sasami? She's a nasty, conniving, monster. And she never shows me one ounce of the respect due to me as a princess."

Sasami shook her head. "Aeka she's always nice to me and everyone else. She's even been calling Washu mom. (_£30 Washu…NOW…Thank you…NO I DO NOT WANT TO BE YOUR GUINEA PIG) Maybe if you showed her a little respect she'd give you some."_

Aeka laughed, "Hahahahaha! That's funny. Like Ryoko deserves any respect."

Sasami looked up at her sister and shook her head. "She's never done anything wrong. If you would just give her a chance she might even be your friend."

Aeka shook her head. "No. All she wants to do is steal Tenchi away from me. And you and the others don't even seem to care."

Sasami shrugged. "That's because we know no matter what we'll always be part of the family. It doesn't matter who he picks." She turned to walk away.

Aeka watched her go. "You act like he might actually pick Ryoko."

Sasami stopped and looked at her. For a brief second Aeka almost saw Tsunami's face over her sisters. "If there is no chance of him picking her why fight so hard? And what would you do if he did?" Sasami turned and ran inside the house. (_Remember this is my story Sasami…What's this money for???…Okay I can do that…in part 2… well you'll just have to wait…thank you)_

Tenchi picking Ryoko? Ha! Like that would ever happen. _(It's my story Aeka…HaHaHaHaHah...sorry I got a bit carried away there)_

Washu sat in her lab watching the world around her though monitors. She read the data on a supernova three galaxies over. She had been trying to figure out if destroying a nova would allow you to reset time or if it would trap someone in a quantum loop. Something glowed at the corner of her eye. She turned around and saw Tsunami standing behind her.

"Hello sister." Tsunami nodded.

"So you remember after all."

Washu smirked. "Yes, I know all about who I was."

Tsunami nodded again, "I see you also miss it."

Washu raised her eyebrow. "What makes you say that?"

Tsunami motioned towards the machines. Each one monitoring a different part of the universe. "You must. You have done your best to recreate your ability to see the whole universe at once. You must have accomplished what you were after when you became mortal if you want to go back already."

Washu chuckled. "'Already'? It's been twenty thousand years Tsunami. And anyway what makes you think I want to go back?" 

Tsunami reached forward and turned off Washu's computer. "Because you've stopped doing what you came back to do."

Washu shook her head. "No I haven't. Why did you turn off the lab? How do I find out about life if I can't study it?"

Tsunami smiled pleasantly. "You used to know the answer to that. Washu... when you were a goddess you knew everything. Why would you need to become human just for that?"

Washu shook her head. "I don't remember. Too many painful memories have replaced it."

Tsunami nodded. "I know Washu. But you can't get rid of pain like that by avoiding it. You've hidden away for too long sister. Why don't you make some new memories?"

Washu looked up at her and shook her head. "But what if I get hurt again? What if this family is taken away from me? I can't protect them as much out there."

Tsunami nodded one last time. "I know, but that doesn't matter. You know that." 

Washu nodded back and smiled. "Thank you sister."

Tsunami faded back into the darkness of the lab. Standing up Washu looked around her at the machines and monitors around her. The form wavered and blurred slightly around the edges.

The tiny doll she had used as her body for so long fell to the ground at her feet. Slowly Washu turned around to leave. "I've been here too long." She walked out the door and into the living room. Inside the lab was dark and silent.

Tenchi smiled and paid the man for his work. Picking up the gift-wrapped box in his hand Tenchi smiled and walked out to the street. The guy in the store had gotten it just right. It had taken all day and Tenchi had had to draw him some pictures, but it was finally done. He held the box close to his chest, making sure that it didn't get damaged. The wrapping around it was white with gold lines. A red rose on each side and a blue bow, the color of Ryoko's hair, wrapped around it.

Mihoshi yawned and stretched out on the couch. She had been laying in a nice warm sunbeam and had fallen asleep. She woke up and looked around. "Hi Washu, what are you doing out here?"

Washu smiled at her. "Well I finished what I was working on in my lab. Is it alright if I talk with you?" 

Mihoshi shrugged and smiled. "Sure. What do you want to talk about?"

Washu smiled and asked, "Well for one thing I would like to know how you keep so calm all the time. It's like once something's done you don't care anymore."

Mihoshi leaned back on the couch and looked up at the ceiling for a minute. "I don't know. I used to worry about all the stuff I did and might do. It kind of burned me out. That's why I was assigned to such a remote area. But once I came here... it just didn't seem to matter anymore. No matter what happens it's always unpredictable and whenever something bad does happen we always beat it up and things get right back to normal." 

Washu nodded. She knew that what Mihoshi said was right. Washu lay back on the couch as well. "So what do you do?" 

Mihoshi shrugged. "I don't know. Want to take a bath?" (_Author generously gives them ten bottles of Sake_)

Washu looked up at her. Then shrugged. "Sure, why not?" They got up and walked out the door towards the floating baths. (_With the sake_)

Sasami smiled and watched them go. "Looks like everything is getting better." In the mirror next to her the image of Tsunami nodded (_She does that a lot) _

"Yes... I'm sorry I could not help your sister Sasami. What is to come will be very difficult for her." 

Sasami bit her lip and nodded. "I know Tsunami." Ryo-oki tugged on her dress and Sasami leaned down to pick her up. She was in her toddler form wearing a pink dress. 

"Meow?" Sasami smiled and hugged her. "It's alright Ryo-oki. Some things are just changing, that's all." Ryo-oki hugged her back and smiled. 

In the baths Washu sat talking with Mihoshi. "So you really don't want Tenchi anymore?" Washu asked. 

Mihoshi sighed and leaned back. "It's not that. I just know he isn't meant to be my husband. I will never leave his side, but that isn't the same thing." 

Washu sighed and splashed some water. "I know what you mean. You and I... we aren't really meant for him are we? We are part of his family, nothing more. Sometimes I think Sasami knows more than all of us." 

Mihoshi nodded and blew bubbles in the water while Washu continued drinking.

Ryoko woke up from her spot in the tree. She had flown for hours over the forest to find the perfect spot. She had found a clearing near one of the tiny streams that fed into the lake. She had found a nice spot on the limb of a cherry tree and fallen asleep listening to the sounds of the stream and forest around her. She stretched and brushed some cherry blossoms off of her clothes. (_No not brushed her clothes off, she brushed stuff off her clothes, Tenchi) (_£100 charge for that or she'll kill me…Well then she still has her clothes on then…No I will not accept visa_)_

Sighing she sat up in the tree and looked around. There wasn't much to see. Just trees, trees, and more trees. A lot like Jurai that way, only these trees couldn't become space ships. She floated down to the ground and scooped up a sip of water from the stream. "Ooo, that's cold." (_Duh_) (Powerful energy blast hits Author) (_Ouch_)

She stopped and looked around. Over the millennia she had been Kagato's slave she had never had time to admire how beautiful a planet could be. The wind picked up a bit and blew some leaves past her. She shivered slightly. "Time to go back." 

She turned and teleported back to the house. She looked down from the air above the house. Ryoko saw Washu and Mihoshi in the baths. Sasami was playing with Ryo-oki by the lake. And Aeka was sitting in the living room. "Damn, can't even watch television." (_For only £20 I can have a meteor hit) (__Oh sorry Sasami I forgot, fine no meteor shower…wouldn't have been as much fun anyway)_

Ryoko looked around for someplace to go. She thought about the shrine but ever since the time Yosho had tried to use Mihoshi to make her mad she had avoided it...like the plague. Finally Ryoko thought of someplace she could go. She landed on the roof and phased down through it into Tenchi's room. She smiled and lay down on his bed, closing her eyes. 

You have nothing to worry about. Things may be clearer tomorrow. Tsunami's words ran through her head over and over. What could she have meant? Did it have anything to do with Tenchi? Ryoko shook her head, unsure what to do. Slowly she slipped back into sleep. 

Tenchi arrived home at about sunset. He quickly ran upstairs before anyone asked him where he'd been or saw what he was carrying. He ducked into his room and went to his closet. On his bed Ryoko gasped and saw she wasn't alone. Tenchi started to turn towards the sound but she had phased through the bed. 

"Hmm, I must be getting paranoid." He smiled to himself and chuckled slightly. "She'll be so surprised. Tomorrow is going to be a great day." With that he turned and left the room. 

Ryoko lay there for a while puzzling over what he had said. He had mentioned the same thing Tsunami had. What was the big deal about tomorrow? Ryoko phased down through the floor and floated down onto the couch just before Tenchi made it down the last stair. 

Aeka saw Ryoko land. "So there you are you filthy thing. And where were you all day? Probably doing something unsavoury." Ryoko ignored her and leaned back on the couch. Tenchi smiled and walked over sitting on the couch between them. "Oh lord Tenchi, when did you get home?" Tenchi smiled and looked at her.

"Oh, a few minutes ago. I just wanted to put something away in my room first."

Ryoko bit her lip. She was uneasy because there was something happening that she didn't understand and couldn't figure out. Tenchi looked at her. "Are you alright Ryoko?"

Ryoko looked up suddenly. "I'm... I'm fine Tenchi. Just thinking."

Aeka sneered. "Of course she's fine. Now lord Tenchi I think it's time you and I discussed our relationship and eventual wedding." (_sorry__ Tenchi couldn't stop her…Fine I'll save you free of charge…This time only though)_

Tenchi looked at her like she was insane (_Which I think she is)._

"Now wait a minute Aeka..."

Sasami poked her head out of the kitchen and called them all to dinner (_talk about timing Eh…hint hint_). 

Tenchi quickly jumped up leaving Aeka and Ryoko on the couch glaring at each other. Washu and Mihoshi walked in the door finally dry from their long trip to the baths. (_And actually sober???_ I'm impressed_) Aeka noticed them come in and was so shocked by Washu's adult body that she looked away from Ryoko._

Ryoko meanwhile clenched her teeth and looked at Sasami and Tenchi. "I'm not hungry right now." She disappeared before anyone could ask why, but not before Tenchi saw a tear trickle out of her eye.

Noboyuki and Yosho arrived shortly afterwards. All through dinner everyone was talking with everyone else. Washu was talking with Mihoshi about some of the fun things to do on Earth. Sasami was talking to Ryo-oki and Noboyuki was telling Yosho about his day at work.

Meanwhile Aeka was discussing Juraian marriage customs in a none to subtle hint to Tenchi. Tenchi meanwhile was sitting quietly picking at his food and worrying about Ryoko too much to notice much of anything. That night Tenchi went to sleep still thinking about her.

The next day Tenchi was very excited. He had eaten breakfast and immediately gone to finish his chores at the shrine. Then he had gone back to his room to get Ryoko's gift. Unfortunately he hadn't seen her since she disappeared the other night and wasn't sure where to look. He searched the entire house, but could find no trace of her. Finally he had decided to just wait until she turned up. (_Once again I have to do everything_)

Walking along the path he found himself at the cave without really thinking. He wasn't sure why. He sat down by the entrance to the cave holding the present in his hands. After a while he thought he heard something from inside the cave. Almost like faint crying. (Energy Blast Aimed at Author) (_I know you don't Cry Ryoko but do you want Tenchi or not????_) (Energy Blast Disappears) (_Thanks)_

Quietly he walked into the cave, looking all around him for the sound. When he reached the small house the sword used to be in he stopped. The crying was coming from the wall. He looked around and saw the stone he had tied together to keep the door closed. He snapped the dry vine between his fingers and the wall slowly opened revealing a slanted hallway with water dripping down it. Tenchi could hear the sound coming from inside. "Tenchi..."

Without thinking he sat down and slid into the cave. When he arrived at the bottom he saw Ryoko floating in the air over the small pool that had once been her prison. She hadn't even noticed him yet. Tenchi sat there looking at her for a long time. "Please... don't cry Ryoko. I can't stand to see you cry."

Ryoko gasped and looked up at him. Then she frowned and shook her head. "Why not? What have I got left, now that you and Aeka are together?"

Tenchi looked up at her shocked. "What gave you that idea?" (_I wonder_)

Ryoko snorted and looked away. "Don't give me that. I heard her last night talking all about wedding plans."

Tenchi shook his head. "Ryoko I have no intention of ever marrying Aeka. I never did." (_Good)_

Ryoko turned back to him. "But I heard her..."

Tenchi shook his head. "Despite what Aeka says I am not destined to marry her. I have other plans." (_Besides this is my story that you asked for Ryoko, remember?)_

Ryoko bit her lip. Tenchi got up and walked over to her, looking directly into her eyes. Ryoko backed up and started to disappear. "Please don't leave Ryoko." Ryoko stopped then returned to her solid form. Tenchi looked at her. "Ryoko, do you know what today is?"

Ryoko nodded. "It's the day you freed me from here. You hurt me and..." Ryoko's breath caught in her throat as a sob worked it's way out again.

Tenchi sighed and looked at the floor. He saw something lying there. He reached down to pick it up. It was the mask Ryoko had warn that day. There was a huge slash down the middle of it. "I'm sorry Ryoko... I was scared. My grandfather had told me so many stories about the demon of the cave." (_Wimp)_

Ryoko nodded. "I know, I was there when he stopped you from going into the cave." 

Tenchi looked up from the mask in his hands. "I can never take back what I did, but I wanted to give you something else instead." 

For the first time Ryoko saw the box in his hands. She immediately cheered up and flew over to him. "Really? A gift for me?" 

Tenchi smiled and nodded, handing her his gift. 

Ryoko let out an excited squeal as she looked at it, then turned to him. "What is it?" 

Tenchi smiled and said, "You have to open it to find out." 

Ryoko pouted, but her eyes turned back to the bright package in her hands. "How do I open it without tearing the paper?"

Tenchi laughed. "You're supposed to rip it off. Just be careful not to get what's inside." 

Ryoko grinned and ran her nail under the paper ripping it off. Then she opened the small box inside. "Oh Tenchi... it's beautiful."

Reaching in she held up a crystal model of Ryo-oki in her spaceship form. It was exact, right down to the red dome.

Tenchi smiled. "That's not all either." Reaching over he touched the dome and pulled it back revealing that it was hollow. Inside were crystal figurines of Tenchi and Ryoko in each other's arms. Once the dome was all the way down the floor under the figurines began to turn and music began to play. 

Ryoko looked at it in awe. Then she saw tiny writing along the edge of the spinning floor. She read it out loud to herself in a hushed voice. "_For now and forever, I will love you always and never leave your side_." 

Fresh tears fell to Ryoko's cheeks, despite the smile on her face. She turned to look at Tenchi who smiled back into her eyes.

"I love you Ryoko."

Ryoko set the box down and put her arms around Tenchi hugging him to her. "I love you too Tenchi." 

Tenchi held her close and felt her warm breath on his shoulder. The song from the music box continued to play. Ryoko finally looked up at him. "Tenchi... will you dance with me? I know it's silly but..." 

Tenchi smiled and nodded. He took her hand in his and put his other hand around her waist. Ryoko slipped her own free hand behind his neck and they began to dance.

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**(I feel I need to warn you. If you want a nice romantic story stop reading…****NOW!**** From this point on it is all down hill. Since I don't like…. In fact I hate Aeka. This is not going to end well as far as Aeka goes.)**

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**NO REALY STOP **READING********

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NO STOP…AS IN STOP, NO MORE, FINISH AND END 

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**YOU PART OF THE WE HATE AEKA CLUB?**

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**WELL I WARNED YOU******

Sasami smiled seeing Tenchi and Ryoko together in her mind's eye. Next to her on the couch Washu and Ryo-oki were in a similar state, but could see it through Ryoko's perspective and feel what she was feeling. Mihoshi meanwhile was looking at them curiously. "What's going on?"

Washu and Sasami checked to make sure Aeka was still in the bath, then told her.

"Wow, that is so great! I'll bet they look great together."

Washu and Sasami nodded. "They really do. I'm so happy for them." Sasami said.

Ryo-oki began humming the tune and that got Sasami and Washu doing it too. Mihoshi grinned and said, "Hey, why don't we have some fun?"

Washu and the others grinned and they all stood up. Washu and Mihoshi, then Ryo-oki and Sasami started dancing to the tune in the same way Ryoko and Tenchi were. Suddenly from behind them they heard Aeka's voice say,

"Sasami, what are you doing? This is very undignified for a princess." They all stopped and looked guilty for a second.

Then Sasami looked up at her, "What's so undignified? I thought princesses were supposed to know how to dance."

Aeka nodded, "True enough, but not with other girls and certainly not with animals and commoners." 

Washu and Mihoshi were about to yell at her but Sasami beat them too it, "Now Aeka that is enough. Ryo-oki is a person just like you or me, Washu and Mihoshi are anything but common, and you have no right to insult them either way! Now you have been mean to Ryoko and most of the others for far too long. Now apologise or they will think Juraians don't have any manners at all."

Aeka stuck her nose up and let out an indignant sound. "I most certainly will not. I don't apologise to anyone but Royalty. Why should I apologise to them?"

Sasami frowned. "Aeka you are totally impossible. I hate to say it because I love you, BUT YOU ARE BEING A ROYAL PAIN!!!" (_Way to go Sasami_)(thank you)(_Your welcome_)

Aeka looked down at her and frowned. "Now why do you say that? I'm acting in accordance with the rules of Royalty. You are the one who's been acting wrong. Cooking and cleaning for people. Making friends with commoners."

Sasami shook her head. "If that's how a princess is supposed to act them I'd rather be normal." With that she turned around and walked out the door with Ryo-oki running after her. Aeka stared after her for a minute and huffed.

"What's her problem?" She looked at Mihoshi and Washu but they had completely turned their backs on her. "Fine, be that way! I'll just go find lord Tenchi. Where is he?"

Washu and Mihoshi sat there in silence. Aeka clenched her teeth. "Fine... now let's see here. Where is that rotten space pirate? She probably knows where he is. Ryoko, where are you?" She walked outside calling out to find Ryoko or Tenchi.

Washu and Mihoshi looked at each other worriedly. "Think we should stop her?" Mihoshi asked.

Washu shook her head, "Nah, she'll never find them in the cave. Besides she was going to have to find out sooner or later." Mihoshi sighed and nodded.

"I just wish she weren't so mean and..."

Washu smirked. "Insane?" Mihoshi smiled back and nodded.

The music box stopped playing and Tenchi stood there holding Ryoko. The light from the pool reflected in each of their eyes. "Tenchi, this was the best thing that ever happened to me. I've never been this happy. Thank you." Tenchi held her close and nodded.

"Me too Ryoko. I'm sorry I took so long."

Ryoko smiled at him. "Why did you wait?"

Tenchi rubbed the back of his neck. "I was afraid that Aeka would torture then kill us."

Ryoko frowned. "I did warn you about her. She's ok for a princess, but she has a mean streak."

Tenchi nodded. "The worst part is that she's my friend and I really didn't want to hurt her." Ryoko put her arm around his back. "Tenchi no matter what happens... I will stand by your side."

Tenchi smiled and hugged her back. "I know Ryoko. That's why I couldn't wait anymore." He reached into his pocket and pulled out the sword. Ryoko's eyes widened as Tenchi closed his eyes and the gems in the hilt appeared on her wrist and neck. Ryoko let out a squeal and hugged him tightly while he slipped the sword back into his pocket.

Ryoko let him go and reached down to the music box and slowly slid the top shut. "I am going to put this someplace safe when we get back to the house." Tenchi smiled and took her free hand. She smiled and teleported them outside the cave.

He was a bit surprised that she hadn't put them by the house, but thought that a walk in the woods would be nice. Ryoko obviously agreed with him and started walking. Then she noticed that he still had her mask. 

"What are you hanging onto that for?" Tenchi looked down at it and smiled.

"Pleasant memories. Kind of like this." He pulled back the sleeve of his shirt showing her the bell. 

Ryoko looked at it and smiled in obvious surprise.

"I can't believe you still have that!" Tenchi smiled and they walked through the trees. Ryoko looked around trying to think of something more to say to him. But in the end just decided to enjoy his company.

"**Ryoko, where are you? I need to know where Tenchi is!" Aeka yelled from down the path.**

Tenchi and Ryoko both stopped in their tracks. Ryoko looked at Tenchi. "I can stop her from hurting us without much effort Tenchi, but if I do it will seriously hurt her pride to know I've just been playing with her for so long." (_Kill her, Kill her, Please Kill her…..Maim Torture Mutilate Burn anything just Kill her)_

Tenchi thought about it. Aeka's call came closer. "Ok, but don't hurt her alright?"

Ryoko nodded. Aeka came around the corner and saw them. "Oh there you two are. Now lord Tenchi I wanted to speak to you about the wedding ceremony and..." She stopped when she saw that Tenchi and Ryoko were holding hands. "Miss Ryoko, get your hands off of him this instant!"

Ryoko automatically tried to take her hand back, but Tenchi held on. "Aeka, Ryoko isn't holding my hand. I'm holding hers."

Aeka looked at him angrily for a second, and then started laughing. "Oh Tenchi you are so funny. As if you would ever do a thing like that. Now come along so we can discuss our wedding."

Tenchi sighed and shook his head. "Aeka I am not going to marry you."

Aeka stopped laughing and looked at him darkly. "Well why not? I want one good reason why you would pick her over me." She yelled.(_Want a list???)_

Tenchi was sick of this. He decided then and there to give her exactly what she asked for. (_And in my expert opinion deserved) "First off **she isn't my aunt**, secondly** she didn't fall in love with me just because my grandfather is old**, and thirdly** because I love her and have for a very long time." (**__It felt good to write that bit)_

Aeka stood there aghast for several seconds. Then she turned on Ryoko. "You! You hypnotised him or something!" She looked at the music box in Ryoko's hands. "Is that how you did it? Give it to me this instant." 

Before Ryoko could move Aeka grabbed a hold of the music box and threw it to the ground. One of the spikes broke off from the side.

"No!" Ryoko yelled. She fell to her knees and picked up the music box.

Tenchi turned on Aeka and yelled. "**What are you thinking**? I gave her that as a gift! Aeka that was wrong! Apologise to her this instant!" (_And it not only cost a lot but it took me an hour to think it up)_

He leaned down and put his arm around Ryoko's shoulder. She was crying. "It's alright Ryoko... I can get it fixed. Look, I'm sure it still works." He reached over and opened the cracked dome. Inside the two crystal figurines danced undisturbed by the fall. (_Don't worry I'll get it fixed before the end of the story_)

Aeka fumed, "I will not apologise! She's done something to trick you into liking her more than me and I will not stand for it! You will marry me if I have to kill her and blow up this entire planet!"

Tenchi looked up at her shocked. "Aeka what are you saying?

Aeka sneered down at them. "I think it's pretty clear. If you don't marry me I'll have the planet blown up. You have until tomorrow to decide." She turned and ran into the woods crying.

Tenchi and Ryoko watched her run in shock. "Oh shit…"

Sasami looked at Aeka in horror, "**You did what**?"

Aeka looked up. "I swore that if he didn't marry me I'd destroy the planet and everyone on it!"

Sasami shook her head. "You can't do that Aeka. There are billions of living creatures on this world... (_Including me!_)"

Aeka looked at her. "I don't care. If I don't get him I'll do it. You act like you want him to marry Ryoko."

Sasami ran out the door of their room and downstairs to find Mihoshi and Washu. Tenchi and Ryoko were already there. Sasami sat down and stared straight ahead. "I can't believe she did that..."

Tenchi bit his lip and looked at her. "Can't you talk her out of it Sasami? I mean she can't mean it."

Sasami looked up at him and shook her head. "No, I can't. She can't take it back. After a member of the royal family swears an oath they have to fulfil it. It doesn't matter if she is sorry." They all looked at Washu.

"Is there anything you can do Washu?" Mihoshi asked.

Washu sat back and nodded. "Yes, it's already done. I heard everything Aeka said and immediately blocked off all communications to Jurai." (_It was no problem for the Number one genius scientist in the Universe)_

They all smiled. "You're brilliant Washu." Tenchi said.

Washu nodded but still didn't smile. "Unfortunately this is a temporary solution. At some point Aeka will make contact with the planet or they will contact her. She is the crown princess."

The good mood suddenly drained out of the room. Washu looked at the music box still in Ryoko's hands. "I can fix that however and I will work on the problem. (_Told you I'd get it fixed) There may be something in Juraian law that will help us out. Our main problem is Aeka. None of us actually wants to hurt her, (_Speak for yourself_)  but she will try to keep her oath if she has to do it herself." (__Kill Her Please!!!!!)_

Tenchi frowned and looked at the stairs. "I can stop her. The master key can override hers." Tenchi said in a quiet voice. "I didn't want it to come to this. She was my friend." (_So?_)

Washu put her hand on Tenchi's shoulder. "We know Tenchi." He smiled at them and they sat there talking. 

Aeka sat in her room. She was even more upset at her inability to contact her parents or the Juraian fleet. "That Washu. She's as bad as Ryoko. They've been plotting against me this whole time. Even that traitor Sasami. They all got together and did something to make Tenchi say those horrible things. I know he wants to marry me. And as soon as they are all dead he'll be able to say it." She had been repeating this to herself for a full day and hadn't even left her room to eat for the entire time. (_Maybe because the author locked her door_)

Sasami had slept on the couch with Mihoshi and Ryo-oki. Tenchi and Ryoko had shared his room, but neither of them was able to sleep or do anything but worry. They had only gotten to sleep when Ryoko played the music box Washu (_and Author) had fixed for them, and even then only for a few hours. _

At breakfast Washu had come up with a solution to their problem. "It isn't a good solution, (_Oh but it is, it is) but it is the only one. I would need everyone behind me on it." She looked at Yosho, Sasami, Tenchi and Noboyuki. "Especially you four." Yosho and Sasami seemed to know what she meant, but Tenchi and Noboyuki didn't. _

"What are you talking about Washu?" 

Washu sighed and looked at them. "We have to have Aeka declared legally insane. It will void her oaths. She will not be harmed and may get the help she needs. However it is a great dishonour among Juraians..." 

Tenchi bit his lip and looked at Ryoko. She looked back and squeezed his hand. "I'll go along with whatever you decide Tenchi, you know that. But I think that they may have a point." 

He turned to Mihoshi who nodded. "She isn't well Tenchi." 

Noboyuki put his hand on Tenchi's shoulder. "I know you don't want to do this Tenchi. She is a member of our family. But I agree that it's what is best." 

Sasami looked up at Yosho. "Brother, I agree with Washu." (_Phase 1 of our plan has started Sasami_)(Excellent…Nice work Author)(_I try)_

Yosho nodded. "As do I Sasami. I take much of the responsibility for this." When none of the others disagreed with him Yosho sat there quietly. Tenchi looked at Washu and nodded.

"But I have to tell her first. I can't do this without her knowing."

Ryoko put her hand on his arm. "Tenchi if you want I'll be there with you."

Tenchi squeezed her hand and shook his head. "No... This is something I have to do alone Ryoko. Please." 

She bit her lip and nodded. "Just be careful Tenchi."

There was a quiet knock on Aeka's door and it opened a crack. "Aeka?" She looked up and saw Tenchi standing there.

"Oh, have you come to propose?" Tenchi shook his head and sat down in the chair across from her bed. 

"It's not going to happen Aeka."

Aeka looked away. "Then I have nothing to say to you." Tenchi sighed.

"Aeka you have no idea how much pain this has caused myself and the others. Do you know why I couldn't tell you or Ryoko why I was in love with her?"

Aeka made no response. 

"It's because first off that you are my friend. I never wanted to hurt you. And secondly... I was afraid of you."

Aeka laughed. "And why would you be afraid of me? I'm not the one who destroyed countless worlds." Tenchi shook his head.

"Neither is Ryoko. She was under Kagato's control and you know it. And I was afraid of you because of the things you have done. When we first met you tried to have me executed and when Ryoko only jokingly said we were seeing each other you tried to kill us all. Since then you have not stopped fighting with Ryoko and now have promised to kill all of us."

Aeka looked at him. "And how exactly do you plan to stop me from carrying out my oath? The only way would be for you to marry me and you said you wouldn't do that."

Tenchi looked up at her and shook his head. "I'm sorry Aeka, but there is another way."

Aeka let out another laugh. "And how do you plan to do that? The only way to stop a royal oath is to have that person..." Her voice trailed off as she looked at his sad eyes. "No. Tenchi. You wouldn't!" (_He might not..But I would and I'm writing THIS story…HaHaHaHaHaHaH…Bye Bye Aeka) (__Here Sasami have your money back I don't need to be paid to do this)_

He nodded and looked down at the floor. "Washu is making the call as we speak. The others are giving their testimonies and when I am done here so will I."

Aeka shook her head. "You can't. You know I am not insane."

Tenchi looked at her and shook his head. "Aeka I wish there were another way, but there isn't."

Aeka had tears streaming from her tears. "But there is Tenchi! Just marry me! Tell me you love me! Then we can be happy together and rule the universe as we were always meant to. Please... you have to."

Tenchi shook his head again. "Aeka I love Ryoko. I will marry her and nobody else. I still care about you Aeka. If I didn't I wouldn't be doing this. You need help." (_No shit Sherlock)_

Aeka cried and cried for several minutes. Then she asked, "Am I... am I really insane Tenchi? Did I hurt you all so much?" (_YES_)

Tenchi bit his lip and nodded.

Aeka took a deep breath and nodded. "Then I have no choice. I trust you Tenchi. I will always love you, but as a princess I must know when I am not all right. I will accept this help graciously. But... could you do one thing for me? Would you and the others please visit me? Even Ryoko..."

Tenchi smiled and nodded.

Aeka sat there quietly.

Tenchi stood up and walked over to her. "Aeka I'm sorry it came to this."

She smiled and looked up at him. "I know Tenchi. I can see my mistakes. Don't worry I do not blame you. I didn't really want to destroy this beautiful world."

Tenchi smiled and nodded. "When you are well again... I hope you will come back Aeka. There will always be a place for you here." (_Not for Long_)

Aeka took a deep breath. "I would like that Tenchi. Do you think I can talk to Ryoko? I know you still have to testify against me so could you send her in? Then the others."

Tenchi nodded and hugged her. She hugged him back and whispered, "I will always love you Tenchi."

Tenchi looked at her, "I love you too Aeka... but only as family." She nodded and lay back down on her bed.

Tenchi got up and quietly left the room. He came to the bottom of the stairs and saw the others.

Washu came forward. "Tenchi your testimony is the only one left." He nodded, but stopped and looked at Ryoko.

"She wants to talk to you first. Then everyone else one at a time."

Ryoko looked at him in disbelief. "But why me?"

Tenchi shrugged. "I don't know. If you don't want to I'll tell her and I think she'll understand."

Ryoko shook her head. "No, I'll do it." She turned and walked up the stairs.

Tenchi turned back to Washu and she led him to the communicator.

Aeka was sitting up when Ryoko came through the door. She looked up at the space pirate studying her face. Somehow she couldn't seem to find the person she hated. "Hello Ryoko."

Ryoko sat down in the same chair Tenchi had. Even that she shared that much with him cut through Aeka's heart like a knife.

"I know... I have not been well. I have done things that have disgraced both my planet and me. But now I think it's time I take full responsibility for that."

Ryoko looked at her with pain in her eyes. "Aeka..."

The princess held up her hand. "No Ryoko. You have nothing to say. I do. I have never apologised to anyone outside the royal family and then I have never meant it. But now I do. I am sorry Ryoko... for everything I have done to you and to the others. I mean this with all my heart and I accept what you have done."

Ryoko nodded. "Thank you Aeka."

Aeka nodded and sat there quietly for some time before she spoke again. "Ryoko can you tell me one thing? Is Tenchi really as good a kisser as I think?"

Ryoko smiled at her and nodded. Aeka smiled back, "Come visit me alright?"

Ryoko chuckled. "They couldn't keep me away Aeka."

Aeka got up and hugged Ryoko who hugged her back.

Next it was Sasami's turn. Ryo-oki came up with her cuddled in her arms. Aeka looked at her and she suddenly felt very guilty.

"Aeka, I'm sorry."

Aeka smiled at her, "No Sasami, it wasn't you fault. I did this to myself. (_With a little help from me…Okay maybe a lot of help from me but who cares???) You tried to help and I thank you for that. You too Ryo-oki. I'm sorry about the things I said to you."_

Sasami and Ryo-oki walked over to her and hugged Aeka tightly. "You are a great sister Aeka. I'll call and write you everyday and send you food I swear."

Aeka smiled and hugged her back. "And I'll make you a nice potholder or something. Just take care of everyone for me alright? Without me you'll be the princess around here."

Sasami smiled up at her. "I'll make you proud of me Aeka."

Aeka smiled and rubbed her hair. "You already do." Sasami held her tightly and Aeka hugged her back. (_Do I put the plan on Ice Sasami?) (Hell no, It's Payback time) (_Excellent, excellent_)_

The others came up after Sasami. Aeka apologised to all of them and thanked them for putting up with her. 

This went on until Yosho came. He was the last, after even Noboyuki. Aeka looked at him and shook her head, "Brother... you are the one person I have no apology for."

Yosho nodded. "Nor would I have accepted one Aeka. I am to blame for all of this."

Aeka nodded. Yosho looked out into the air. 

"I could try to justify my actions. Tell you I did it because I fell in love, or could not leave this world. Or even stick with what I told you about being an outcast among our people. But I won't. I was a coward and am willing to accept whatever punishment you feel is necessary." (_Wuss_)

Aeka studied his face. "Yosho... I think you have done an admirable job of punishing yourself. But there is one thing you can do." Aeka looked him in the eye. "You can take off that damn disguise." 

Yosho looked at her surprised. "You knew?" 

Aeka snorted. "Of course I knew! I'm not an idiot." (_Oh yes you are_)

Yosho sighed and the image of the old man was replaced with his younger self. Aeka smiled and hugged him, surprising Yosho to no end. 

"Brother if it weren't for you I never would have met Tenchi or any of my other friends. I forgive you." Yosho hugged her back. 

The next day the ship came to pick Aeka up. She bid them all a fond farewell and took off. 

Less than a year later it was announced that she had committed suicide. 

(_I wish to inform you that I had no involvement what so ever in Aeka's suicide…well maybe it wasn't quite suicide..but it damn well looked like it by the time I was..Errr I mean when the murderer was finished doing everyone a favour… Sorry finished doing such a horrible act…The murderer had two accomplices…One was short with long blue hair and a cabbit on her head…the other was tall with spiky cyan hair and yellow eyes…)_

Ryoko and Tenchi got married soon after. Noboyuki volunteered to give Ryoko away and Yosho performed the ceremony. Sasami made the food and cake and Ryo-oki ate all the carrots in the fields as soon as Tenchi left on his "honeymoon" (_Further details are classified…videos can be purchased from Sasami and Washu at £25.99 each…Restrictions apply. Courtesy of Noboyuki Films )_

 The years following the marriage were relatively normal. Washu continues to invent…Mostly items that are of use to Ryoko and Sasami…

The Space pirate Ryoko returned with a new accomplice…Princess Sasami who denounced her Royal status and became a pirate like Ryoko. Tsunami approved of Sasami's new career and joined with Sasami to participate in the new life. They have reached the Number 1 most wanted criminals in the universe position.

GP agents Mihoshi and Kiyone were assigned to find and apprehend the Space pirates Ryoko and Sasami. They were successful in catching them in the process of robbing a cargo ship full of powerful explosives.

Galaxy Police have not heard from them since. It is rumoured that they were actually part of the gang as they have been seen participating in several armed robberies and now live at the Masaki home.

Tenchi Masaki, the first crown Prince of Jurai recently declared The Solar System off limits to the Juraian royal fleet. (_Wonder Why_)

The Masaki family is now extremely wealthy and as such Noboyuki retired and now has his own "Film" company. The rest of the family (And a certain Author) now live in total comfort…. All thanks to a certain author…

Ryoko: All thanks to you??? What do you mean all thanks to you

Sasami: Yeah we helped with the murder too

Author: Hey not so loud!!

Ryoko And Sasami: Well???

Washu: And don't forget who fixed your computer!!!

Author: Ok Ok…All Thanks to a certain Author (who will remain nameless for security reasons),A short Blue haired Girl, a tall Cyan haired lady…

Washu: Say it!!!

Author: No

Washu: Say it…or do I turn you into a carrot?

Ryo-oki: meow meow!

Author: And the greatest Scientific Genius in the Universe

Ryo-oki: MEOW…

Author: ….Sigh...and a really clever and cute Cabbit...Ok…Everybody happy now???

Ryo-oki: Myaa

Ryoko: Yep

Washu: Yes

Sasami: yeah, now come and have dinner

Ryoko: What's for dinner

Sasami: Carrot soup

Ryo-oki: Meow (rushes off)

Everyone: HaHah

Sasami: Followed by bite sized Aeka pieces.

Everyone: Yum Yum

Sasami: and then we have Chocolate cake.

Author: Yes (Rushes Off)

Everyone: HEY wait for us.

END 

Author: GodDamn I'm Good

Well that's part 1. I guess you want the rest of my stories for this series. This is my first fan-fic so tell me what you think. Good bad want to kill me etc. If you are an AEKA fan well…I DID WARN YOU OFTEN ENOUGH.


	2. Twisted

Twisted

By Evil_Zero

                Kiyone: Please?

                Author: No

                Kiyone: Please?

                Author: NO

                Kiyone: Please…Pretty Please?

                Author: NO

                Kiyone: How about this…Do it and I'll delete your criminal record

                Author: What Record?

                Kiyone: Oh I know all about You Sasami Ryoko and Ryo-oki killing Aeka and making it look like a suicide…(has evil smile)

                Author: Your lying (sweatdrop)

Kiyone: I'm not

                Author: Prove it

Kiyone: Will this videotape do? (They watch the tape)

                Author: ARRGGGHHH…. Let me go talk to the others first

Ryoko: She has WHAT?

Author: She has a tape proving we killed Aeka

Sasami: So what does she want?

Author: A story

Ryoko, Sasami and Ryo-oki: So WRITE it already

Author: Well here's the problem…she wants (Whispers Quietly)

All: NO WAY!!!

Kiyone: Yes way or else.

Author: Fine….Damn…Plan…ruined….Wonderful Life….trapped…

Kiyone: What was that?

Author: Errr I'm sure it will be a great story…

Kiyone: It will be….(Looks happy)

Author: Right here's what we need to do…Ryoko you (whispers quietly) OK?

Ryoko: Right (Teleports away)

Author: Now Sasami..You and Ryo-oki have to (More whispering) Right?

Sasami: Yep

Ryo-oki: Miya (they walk off)

Author: RUN (Sasami and Ryo-oki break into a dash)

Kiyone: I'm waiting…

Author: (Gulp) Members of the audience I have just been Blackmailed int..

Kiyone: Blackmailed? (Points gun at lower extremities)

Author: Ehhh Convinced to write a sequel to my story THE PERFECT GIFT…Happy now?

Kiyone: Start writing or I start posting.

Author: Gulp

The sun was shining and everyone was having a great time at the Masaki household. It had been two years now since Tenchi and Ryoko were married at the Masaki shrine by Yosho. The family had changed slightly with the Suicide of Aeka (Kiyone: Well it wasn't really a suicide now was it…Mr Author?)(_Author: Stay out of this Kiyone or I won't write this story)(Kiyone: But then I'd send you to jail)(__Author: I wonder were this is going)_

Following the events that led to Aeka committing suicide (Kiyone: It_)(Author: SHUT UP KIYONE) there had been some changes to the way Tenchi and his family lived in a slightly bigger house, The family was loaded, Ryoko and Sasami were now the universe's most wanted Space Pirates, Tenchi Masaki was now the Unofficial ruler of the Solar System and Mihoshi and that idiot Kiyone….(Kiyone: WHAT??? Gun being aimed) I mean intelligent young lady Kiyone had also become part of Ryoko and Sasami's Gang and had quit the Galaxy Police. (_Author: Better?_)_

Of course some things never change, Sasami was still the best cook in the universe, Ryo-oki still loves carrots, Washu is still a mad inventor (Washu: And?) And still THE GREATEST SCIENTIFIC GENIUS IN THE UNIVERSE. Noboyuki was still a pervert who also owned his own "film" company now. Mihoshi was still an airhead (Kiyone: You got that right) and the Author was still god (ALL: WHAT) (_Author: I'm trying to write here if you don't mind_!!!)

Today though something seemed strange, Kiyone was actually happy despite Mihoshi's constant talking. This surprised everyone since Kiyone was usually the first one to be angered by Mihoshi's actions.

"Ok Kiyone, Spill what are you so happy about" asked a very grown up Sasami.

"Huh?" replied Kiyone turning around to see who had asked her. She smiled when she recognised Sasami. Of course if you were to compare Sasami now as compared to five years ago you would never believe that they were the same person. Where once a small smiley faced cheerful polite little girl would have stood there was now a highly attractive five foot eleven eighteen year old (Lookswise) goddess…Literally and figuratively. 

Even the taste in clothes had changed completely. She used to love wearing long flowing dress and have her hair in bunches and pigtails but now had her hair free flowing down her back, preferred tight jeans and white T-shirts and a black leather jacket. (Sasami: HEY stop staring!!!) (_Author; Sorry)_

The only thing that was still the same was that she was always smiling and was still a nice person…except when on "Business". Then it was the Royal Bitch routine.

Of course Ryo-oki still sat on her head and was still Sasami's best friend.

"Why are you so happy Kiyone?" asked Sasami again.

"I just heard that Mihoshi's grandfather, The head of the Galaxy police has just had Her cleared of all charges" Replied a very happy Kiyone.

"But why is that good? Mihoshi is a great pirate and a good friend." giggled Sasami

"Yes but now she can go to the Galaxy police Headquarters and not get arrested".

"So?" replied a lost Sasami.

"It means tha…"started Kiyone.

"That she can go there and steal all the confiscated items that are held there as evidence and not have to worry about being caught" Finished Ryoko who had just appeared out of nowhere…or Tenchi's room at least.

"Oh" replied Sasami finally catching on "I get it".

"Yeah me too" shouted Mihoshi.

"Somehow I doubt that very much" sighed Kiyone.

Later that very same evening the group plotted on how best to steal all of the loot held at the GP HQ. Soon after the meeting was over everyone went off to do their own stuff, Ryoko and Tenchi went to their room to…well they are married so guess. (Kiyone: You know I would also like a little more detail on my radiating beauty put into this story) (_Author: Keep Praying_) (Kiyone: Videotape) (_Author: Damn_)

Meanwhile Sasami had went out clubbing for the evening with Ryo-oki who was in her eighteen year old humanoid form. Washu was busy creating some new….gadget (Washu: It's an inter phasin polynumeric atom destabilising can opener) (_Author: Yeeaaahh…let's just call it the DCO_)

Kiyone Meanwhile had snuck off with Mihoshi in tow. "Mihoshi I want you to help me play a trick on the gang"

"Okay" squealed Mihoshi right into Kiyone's ear (Kiyone: Was that really necessary) (_Author: YES_)

"Great but you have to keep it a secret, Okay?"

"YEP" squealed Mihoshi right into Kiyone's ear again (Kiyone: Videotape)

"Right here's what we need to do" and Kiyone whispered the whole plan into Mishohi's head hoping she wouldn't figure out the slight problem in the plan. (_Author: Bitch_)

The next morning Ryoko, Washu, Sasami, Ryo-oki and Tenchi woke up to find themselves sitting opposite a very giggly Mihoshi and a really pissed of author in what looked to be a prison cell.

"Okay Mihoshi what have you done this time" asked a none to happy Washu

"Hehe Kiyone and I are playing a joke on you" was all that they could get out of her though.

"Well well well if it isn't the Legendary Space pirates Ryoko and Sasami and their accomplices all nice and locked up in their new home" came a familiar voice from the other side of the bars.

"Kiyone" gasped Tenchi. 

"What's going on, Why are we in a jail cell, What are you doing in a Galaxy police uniform and what's this about a joke?"  growled Ryoko

"It's simple, even for you." Stated Kiyone. "I'm back with the GP and by bringing you all in for arrest I've been promoted to the top. You're in a jail cell because your prisoners, I'm in a GP uniform because its my uniform and about the joke well… It was just a way to get Mihoshi to help get you all knocked out and stuffed in here"

"You mean we're not playing a trick on them Kiyone?" asked Mihoshi

"Ha Ha Ha HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH of course not Mihoshi I tricked you into helping me arrest your friends" she managed between fit's of laughter

"Your not my friend anymore Kiyone"

"GOOD all you bring is bad luck Mihoshi"

"I'll kill you Kiyone" roared Ryoko and Sasami at once (_Author: And I'll help them_)

"Go ahead and try that cell is specially designed to be Ryoko Proof Sasami Proof Washu Proof Tenchi Proof and Cabbit Proof, there is no escape. Now if you'll excuse me I have to get some sleep" yawned Kiyone.

"I'm sorry guys it's all my fault" cried Mihoshi breaking into floods of tears.

"It's ok it's not your fault" said Sasami as she tried to comfort Mihoshi (Sasami: Hey I don't do that sort of thing) (_Author: Relax I know…damn) (Sasami: WHAT) (__Author: Nothing)_

"Yeah it was Kiyone's fault not yours" said Tenchi trying to help Sasami.

"Any luck Ryoko" asked Washu

"None, I can't even scratch these damn bars" replied Ryoko while hacking away furiously at the bars with her sword

"Here let me try" said Tenchi as he too started hacking away at the bars with Tenchi-Ken, Soon Sasami and Washu joined in as well but the bars were still undamaged.

(_Author: Why don't you use you DCO Washu?_)(Washu: My What?)(_Author: Your DCO_) (Washu: My What?)(_Author: fine your intert..Err..paste…popenumber…air..Eehh...whatchamacallit _)

(Washu: My What?)(_Author: The Damn Can Opener_) (Washu: OH you mean my inter phasin polynumeric atom destabilising can opener?)(_Author: yes_)(Washu; and why are we talking like this?)(_Author: Because I'm the author and I can't talk to people in the story_)(Washu: OH…OK)

"Hey let me try my new inter phasin polynumeric atom destabilising can opener on these bars" yelled Washu

"HUH???" replied Tenchi

                "It's a can opener Tenchi dear" Said Ryoko smiling

                "Oh" replied Tenchi

Pulling a little white box out of subspace and aimed it at the bars before pulling the trigger. Slowly a pulsating Yellow and Green beam moved towards the bars. As soon as it hit the bars there was a blinding flash. As soon as anyone could see again despair filled the room as the bars were still in perfect condition.

"Well might as well get comfy, looks like we'll be here a while" sighed Washu leaning against the wall farthest from the bars.

Sitting down Sasami remembered something. (Sasami: hey Author) (_Author: What?) ( Sasami: I got that videotape off of Kiyone like you asked) (Ryo-oki: Meow) (Sasami: And Ryo-oki helped too) (_ Author: Is that the only one?_) ( Sasami: Yep) (__ Author: Sasami you're perfect) (Sasami: I know) (__Author: Ryoko, what about you?) (Ryoko: Yep all taken care off…anyone who read the last story is dead) (__Author: then it's time to change this story plot) (Kiyone: hey you can't do that) (_Author: Watch me_) (Kiyone: Uh Oh) (Mihoshi: You're in trouble now Kiyone) (__Author: Oh yeah)_

Mihoshi was busy pacing the room worrying that she had got all her friends arrested when she noticed a shiny Blue panel against the lock on the other side of the door.

Curious she placed her hand against it. "DNA SCAN COMPLETE DETECTIVE FIRST CLASS MIHOSHI….DOOR OPENING" said the computer.

"Of course" cried Washu.

"What" cried everyone else.

"It may be Ryoko Proof Sasami Proof Washu Proof Tenchi Proof and Cabbit Proof but NOTHING is Mihoshi proof"

"Lets Go" yelled Ryoko

Running through the GP HQ they headed straight for a certain room…KIYONE'S room. (_Author: Paybacks a bitch_) (Ryoko, Mihoshi, Washu and Sasami: And so am I)(Tenchi: how come I never get any good lines?)

Hearing alarms ringing everywhere Kiyone looked outside to see what was going on. Nope no spaceships attacking, no black holes either so what was the problem? Just as she reached her door the entire wall blew in. Coughing and groaning as she tried to get up from the rubble Kiyone hoped to god (_Author; I am GOD) (Kiyone: Shit) that this was just a bad dream._

There in front of her only a few inches of the ground hovered Ryoko, energy sword in hand and that damn grin, to her left Tenchi with Tenchi-ken drawn and activated, he wasn't smiling. To her right was Mihoshi gun drawn and aimed squarely at Kiyone's head, she looks pissed thought Kiyone. 

Behind Sasami stood Washu with her own energy sword drawn. Ryo-oki was at Sasami's feet hissing at Kiyone. And there in the Background almost hidden by Ryoko was that damn Author typing away at his holo laptop (_Author: Thank you once again for this thing Washu) and that damn smile of his on his face._

"Payback time Kiyone" was all that Mihoshi said but that was all that was needed. 

Ryoko leapt forward bringing her sword down on Kiyone's left knee as Tenchi did the same to Kiyone's right knee. Washu threw her sword into Kiyone's left ankle as Sasami punched Kiyone in the gut while Ryo-oki chewed on Kiyone's Wrist. Mihoshi fired round after round into Kiyone's face until she was out of ammo…The author even stopped typing this story long enough to give Kiyone a few good whacks over the head with the keyboard.(_Author: Note to self...STOP KILLING THE CAST)_

Soon all that remained of Kiyone was a blood soaked Galaxy Police badge with her name on it

"Bitch" growled Mihoshi as she ramed her heal down on the badge bending it in half.

"Time to go Kiddies" shouted Washu as she saw the Entire GP force headed towards them.

As they started to head for the hanger to escape no one noticed the small grins appearing on Ryoko and Sasami's Face's until they turned round and ran straight into the GP firing energy blasts right left and centre. One GP yelled out as Ryoko's sword cut him in half while another guard attacked Ryoko's Knuckles with his jaw….He lost that fight. Sasami was dishing out Rights and lefts all over the place as she hooked one guard then another and another. 

Soon Tenchi and Washu were there also. Tenchi yelled as he stabbed on guard through the heart while Washu Spun in a circle slicing two guards open and cutting another in half. Mihoshi meanwhile fired shots into the group with amazing accuracy hitting one guard after another in the face with high explosive bullets.(_Author: The author would like to mention that no people were harmed in the making of this story_)(Sasami: you liar we just killed thousands) (_Author: Sasami, We're the bad guys we're supposed to lie_)( Sasami: OH…Ok then)

Suddenly a massive black spike shot through the roof stabbing a guard through the chest. Soon the entire gang was inside Ryo-oki and headed home. They weren't chased by any GP officers, Whether this is because there weren't any left alive or because they were too scared. (_Author: Or because a certain author sabotaged all of their ships)(Sasami: Yeah you're the best author ever)(_Author: YEP_)_

Pretty soon life was back to normal. Washu was inventing, Sasami was playing with Ryo-oki, Mihoshi was sleeping, Noboyuki was still a pervert, Tenchi and Ryoko were still at it and the Author was busy lying back finishing this story and having a beer (Ryoko: It's Sake)(_Author: Sorry…Hey Your supposed to be...You know…Ahem Busy)(Ryoko: [Huge Grin] Oh yeah..Bye…Eh one favour?)(_Author: [places Do Not Disturb Sign on Tenchi's door] No Problem_)_

Yep things were back to normal. Author types something on keyboard and grins. 

"WHAT THE HELL??? AUTHOR STOP DELETING MY CLOTHES" yells Sasami as she stalks over to the Author…completely naked. Slowly a small grin spreads across her face "Unless…"

_The remainder of the story has been hidden because the material is to mature for young children…_

_Disxlaimer: I don't own Tenchi Muyo or anything that is from Tenchi muyo. no law suits._


	3. Warmer

Thanks for all reviews. I think there is an offcial We-Hate-Aeka club somewhere, but sorry don't know where. As for the comments, sorry, gotta have them! :D

Usual Disclaimer stuff Tenchi isn't mine no money is being made from this unfortunately so please don't sue me

****

WARMER

By Evil-Zero

Author: I promise not to kill any of the Tenchi cast this time…Honest

Noboyuki: Ah Author there you are…

Author: Uh Oh

Noboyuki: I was wondering if you would help me with a little plan of mine

Author: I'm listening…

Noboyuki: Well (Whispers quietly)

Author: [Massive Grin] DEAL!!!

Noboyuki: I thought you would agree.

This was weird. One minute she's talking to Ryoko about boyfriends the next she's lying butt naked on top of an equally naked Ryoko with her tongue halfway down her throat. Not that she was complaining, in fact if anything she were enjoying it.

To hell with it she though she didn't know how it happened but she was determined to enjoy herself. Thinking this Sasami continued to kiss Ryoko while doing…Other things (Author: _a minor may be reading this after all_.)

Well, this was not what she had in mind when Sasami had asked to talk to her about sex and boyfriends. Granted it was a more "hands on" approach to the subject than normal. Not that it wasn't educational in it's own way…She now knew Sasami was a great kisser, among other things. But something told her this was wrong…TENCHI.

Ryoko's eyes flew open only to close again the minute Sasami's tongue re-entered her mouth. To hell with Tenchi this now, Sasami was a much better kissing (_Author: And a lot better looking_)

"Are the camera's rolling?" asked Noboyuki (_Author: Yep_)

"I hope so" replied Tenchi

Noboyuki, Tenchi, Yosho and a very worried looking Author were all in the living room watching the state of the art Interdimensional thermolitic nuclear enhanced alphawave neutron clear TV which Washu had designed. On the screen though was not the usual channels, There was no-one yelling that the show was crap (_Author: Far from it_) and there was no fight for the remote.

All eyes were glued to the Image of Sasami and Ryoko **–CENSORED-** (_Author: Minors reading again_)

This was incredible was all that Sasami could think of. Ryoko had a lot of experience at this she figured…and damn was she proving it. Suddenly the only thing that could ruin this moment happened…She saw the cameras. (_Author: Now you know why the Author was nervous in the living room I know what's going to happen here_)

****

"WHAT THE FUCK" yelled Sasami

Ryoko heard Sasami yell and followed her gaze to the cameras. She noticed a sticker on the side of the camera…Noboyuki Film Industries…"**I'LL KILL HIM"**

Upon hearing these words only one thought ran through the four men's mind…*HIDE*

Seconds later two very pissed woman walked into the room and saw nothing out of the ordinary…Unless you counted Tenchi hiding behind the couch (Tenchi: I'm dead), Noboyuki standing behind the door (Noboyuki: we're all gonna die) Yosho hiding on the rafters (Yosho: I'm to old for this shit) and the Author pretending to be a light by putting a lightshade on his head …That and the TV still showed a picture of the room they had just left.

The girls looked at each other. Ryoko phased into jeans and a T-shirt and Phased Sasami into the same clothes as well. (_Author: Damn_) Now that the slight nudity problem was taken care of it was payback time. 

Grabbing Tenchi by his shirt Ryoko drew him up to her face. "What the hell do you think you were doing? You're supposed to be my Husband" yelled Ryoko

"Uhh…Eehhh..I..It…It was Dad's fault" Stuttered Tenchi

Throwing Tenchi against a wall Ryoko stalked of towards Yosho. As Tenchi tried to stand Sasami yelled "Don't even think of moving". Sheepishly Tenchi slumped back against the wall.

Blasting the rafter that Yosho was on Ryoko caught him by the neck and Growled "Don't move" before throwing him against the wall besides Tenchi.

Noboyuki was looking around desperately for an escape as Sasami and Ryoko stalked towards him. "What the hell did you think you were up to huh?" Yelled Sasami

"Did you think we wouldn't find out?" Growled Ryoko

"Ehhh?" Was all Noboyuki could manage

"I just want to know one thing. How did you transport us to that room?" asked Sasami

"Was it Washu?" demanded Ryoko

"No it was the Author" rushed Noboyuki

Unfortunately at this point Sasami noticed the "light" walking quietly out of the room. Deciding that the light should wait until they were finished she gave it a strong roundhouse to the stomach (_Author: Ouch_)

"So why were your cameras in that room?" asked Ryoko. She was talking a bit louder so as to be heard over the Author/Light's groans of pain.

"So I could film it and sell a film of you two sluts and make millions" yelled Noboyuki "I mean are you stupid why else would something like this happen?

The last thought he had as Sasami's fist approached his face was *OOPPS*

(_Author: Stop reading if you wish for a semi-pleasant ending._)

(_Author: You're still reading_)

(_Author: Stop reading now_)

(_Author: Fine here have the rest_)

A few minutes later and Tenchi was already planning the funeral for his dad. Yosho was planning the speech, Sasami was washing blood off her Knuckles and the Author/Light was crawling out the room.

(Ryoko: [Grabbing Authors foot] Oh no you don't) (_Author: Shit_) (Sasami: That's one way of putting it) (_Author: This isn't my fault_) (Ryoko: Why not?) (_Author: Because I'm an Author and Noboyuki paid me to write that story so as an Author I have to write it._) (Sasami: he has a point) (Ryoko: Yeah, But we can't let him get away with it) (_Author: I have a way to make it up to you_) (Sasami: what like you did to me at the end of Twisted?) (_Author: [Grinning] Not quite…Here's what it is [Whispers]_) (Ryoko: [Massive smile] I like it) (Sasami: [Laughing] Yeah) (Ryo-oki: MEOW) (_Author: And you get a carrot Ryo-oki_) (_Author: Deal?_) (Ryoko and Sasami: DEAL)

A beautiful day, The sun is shining and the Author is still alive (_Author: Thankfully_)

Mihoshi was swimming in the pool with Washu.

"WHAAA HELP I'M DROWNING" cried Mihoshi

"Mihoshi you can't be drowning" sighed Washu

"Huh? Why no Washu?" asked Mihoshi in a calm curious voice.

"BECAUSE YOUR' STANDING IN THE SHALLOW END YOU NUMBSKULL" shouted Washu

"Ooopppsssiee..Tehe so I am" giggled Mihoshi realising that the water only came up to her ankles.

"Ohhh Tenchi"

"Yes Ryoko?"

"Get me some more Ice cream"

"Yes Ryoko" he replied starting to walk away with Yosho

"And get me some more Lemonade Yosho" Sasami shouted after them.

"This is fun huh Sasami?" asked Ryoko

"Yep" was the reply (_Author: Its about to get better_) (Ryoko and Sasami: [Suspiciously] How?)

Suddenly the Author started typing on his keyboard, He smiled and lay back down on his hammock. Almost as soon as he was done Tenchi came back with the Ice cream for Ryoko and Yosho had Sasami's Lemonade.

Tenchi and Yosho had to do whatever Ryoko and Sasami said for the rest of the day as their punishment for watching the "show". The Author was spared as he was the one who gave them the idea…He was also protected by Story rule #3546: The Author is not allowed to die during any part of the story at the hands of the cast.

As soon as Tenchi and Yosho turned to leave the Author hit the enter key. Immediately Tenchi and Yosho were dressed in bright pink tutu's with a sticker on their back saying _KICK ME_. Ryoko and Sasami obliged them.

"This is great. Nothing could ruin this now" said Sasami as she lay back on her lounger. Author grins (_Author: Really?_)

****

"WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES?" yelled Sasami.

The Author quietly laughs in hammock as Sasami stalks towards him with fists clenched

"You could always just ask you know

****

CENSORED DUE TO MINORS

Sasami: Is that always going to happen?

Author: Maybe [Grins].

Sasami: At least warn me.

Tenchi: And what was with the damn TUTUS?

Yosho: They were most embarrassing.

Ryoko: They were cute [Laughs]

Washu: Hey Yosho. Wanna be my Guinea Pig?

Yosho: i.e. I I have to work at the shrine now [Washu looks at Tenchi]

Tenchi: [nervous] I'll help you Grandpa

Washu: Ok here's your money

Sasami: Yeah you earned it

Ryoko: Not only did you get rid of Noboyuki but you got them in tutus

Mihoshi: yeah they looked stupid

Author: Goddamn I'm Good…and rich now as well

Mihoshi: hey wait a minute you're a liar

Author: Huh?

Mihoshi: You said you weren't going to kill any of the cast this time

Author and Sasami: We're the bad guys we're supposed to lie

Mihoshi: Oh…Ok then

Sasami: I would like anyone who reads this to fill out the questionnaire at the bottom

****

Questionnaire

By Sasami Masaki

All questions by Sasami

(Please give answers in reviews)

Did you enjoy this Story YES/NO

Do you want the censoring stopped (_Author: Sasami small children may read this_) YES/NO

Do you think Sasami should get a different ending from NUDITY (_Author: [Grinning] NOOO_) YES/NO

Do you think the Author should create a new character to replace some of the one's he's killed of in vicious fashion (_Author: You helped me with those Sasami_)YES/NO

Should I (Sasami) Continue doing Questionnaires (_Author: NO_)YES/NO

Who is the evilest character (_Author: Just say YES beside ONLY one Characters name_)

AuthorYES/NO

SasamiYES/NO

RyokoYES/NO

MihoshiYES/NO

WashuYES/NO

TenchiYES/NO

YoshoYES/NO

Everyone else is already dead


	4. Friends Like This

****

Friends like this…Who needs enemies

By Evil-Zero

Author: I have been forced into creating a new character

Sasami: That's right

Author: All because of your damn questionnaire

Sasami: Well if you stopped killing the cast maybe we wouldn't need more characters

Author: Take care you're not the next one to go

Sasami: Hah you won't kill me

Author: Why not?

Sasami: Then you'd have to think up a new ending

Author: If you don't shut up you'll regret it

Sasami: Nevermind I want you to write me a story

Author: What after all that cheek?

Sasami: I want a boyfriend…Or an orgy

Author: [Sarcastically] Oh is that all?

Sasami: No I also want…

Author: Cash first

Sasami: Story first

Author: Cash first or you get Yosho as your boyfriend

Sasami: I'll pay don't worry. Here [Gives Author money]

Author: [Smiles] Thought you'd see things my way

Sasami: Just start writing

Ryoko: Just remember that Tenchi's mine

Sasami: Don't worry I don't want Tenchi

Ryoko: Oh and why not? Something wrong with him?

Sasami: Yeah his nose bleeds anytime a girls naked near him

Author: Yeah we had to plug his nose up for WARMER

Ryoko: Yeah could you do me a favour?

Author: [Grins] Sure

Ryoko: Give me back my clothes 

Author: Fine

Ryoko: Stop Tenchi's nose bleeding all the time

Sasami: And remember No Yosho Boyfriend…Got it?

Author: Sure

Tenchi: Baka….work in the fields all year

Ryoko: What's wrong Tenchi

Tenchi: Grandfather's making me work in the fields all year

Ryoko: Don't worry Sasami will put in a good word with her boyfriend for you

Sasami: Yosho is not going to be my Boyfriend

Tenchi: Hey Author can you do me a favour?

Author: Yeah I suppose so

Tenchi: Great

Author: Now let's see the story needs Orgies (Tenchi's nose bleeds)(Ryoko Groans) New Character, Sasami Boyfriend, Ryoko's Favour (Ryoko grins and Tenchi has another Nose bleed) A favour for Tenchi (Tenchi Grins) The usual ending for Sasami (Sasami Grins Tenchi has another nosebleed Ryoko Groans) some fun for Mihoshi

Mihoshi: Yeah

Author: And a carrot field for Ryo-oki

Ryo-oki: MEOW

Sasami: Ha Ha I think she likes that part

Author: Surprise surprise [Dripping with sarcasm]

Ryoko: Yeah

Washu: Hey Author I need a favour

Author: And a favour for Washu

Tenchi: [Gulps] What kind of favour?

Washu and Author: You'll see

The day started the same as any other. Sasami cooked breakfast, Mihoshi woke up after falling off the couch, Washu was in her lab, Ryo-oki was eating carrots and Tenchi and Ryoko were…busy 

"Breakfast is ready" shouted Sasami

"I'm busy right now" yelled Tenchi and Ryoko

"Well you're still coming to breakfast" was the reply as she started marching up the stairs

"We're not decent"

"Bit of an understatement Ryoko, besides it wouldn't be the first time I've seen you naked" 

"Oh come on, five more minutes?"

"Two" Sasami shouted as she headed down the stairs (Ryoko: Thanks)(_Author: You're welcome_)

"Like the goddamn energiser bunny lately" Mumbled Sasami

"Tell me about it" muttered Washu "I can't get any work done for the noise"

"What is the telly to loud?" asked Mihoshi

*Sigh* was all that came from Washu and Sasami "No Mihoshi it's fine"

"Ok then Washu" cried Mihoshi as she went back to watching cartoons

Sasami and Washu sat there eating breakfast talking about things when Tenchi and Ryoko appeared…Exhausted from…Happy time. "What's wrong? Run out of steam?" asked Sasami sarcastically.

"No our two minutes were up Sasami" replied Tenchi

"Ruined a great morning, some friend" muttered Ryoko

"Well eat your breakfast, I want to know what you think"

"Hey what is this Sasami?" asked Tenchi

"It's something called a full English breakfast. I saw it on telly, I think it's nice"

"Mmmhhh delicious, it's great, well done Sasami" said Ryoko between mouthfuls "Can we have this more often?"

"Sure Ryoko. Anything for my space pirate partner, tehe" giggled Sasami.

Suddenly Ryoko stopped eating and looked at the roof. Everyone turned to look at her.

"What's wrong Ryoko" asked a concerned Tenchi

"Nagi" spat Ryoko

"What? Where?" stuttered Tenchi

"Here" replied Nagi just before booting him in the stomach and sending him against the wall. He hit with a sickening thud (_Author: I thought it was quite pleasant_) (Tenchi: She just booted me in the gut, what's pleasant about that?) (_Author: I could have had her kick you somewhere else_) (Tenchi: [Gulp] Ok Ok you win)

"Tenchi" cried Ryoko

"Ryoko" growled Nagi

"Nagi" spat Ryoko

"Damn why do they have to have adverts?" muttered Mihoshi as the cartoons were interrupted

Everyone stopped, looked at Mihoshi and sighed.

"That's our Mihoshi" exclaimed Washu

"Let's finish this Ryoko"

"Not a problem Nagi" replied Ryoko as she flew towards Nagi with her sword ready.

Ducking under Ryoko's slash Nagi came up with her energy whip aiming for Ryoko's throat only to meet Ryoko's foot as it collided solidly with Nagi's jaw. The blow staggered Nagi and she staggered backwards blocking swing after swing of Ryoko's sword.

Not good thought Nagi. She's winning She ducked again and was about to lunge at Ryoko's back when she noticed something strange…No one else was in the room! This had Nagi confused as she had expected them all to attack her and help Ryoko. Instead it seemed like they had abandoned her to fight Nagi alone. Turning she caught sight of Ryoko preparing to lunge at her. Ha it's not going to be that easy she thought as she swung her whip at Ryoko's head…And got it. As she tightened the Burning energy whip around Ryoko's neck she noticed something that shouldn't be happening, Ryoko was laughing.

Then it hit her, not just realisation but also the blow from Ryoko that knocked her out. As she fell she realised that she had only been fighting Ryoko's ghost image and that Washu must have hidden the rest of them while she was fighting. DAMN they hadn't abandoned her they had actually been helping her humiliate Nagi.

"She's awake now Washu" She heard as she started to regain consciousness

"Good, Get the others Sasami"

"Ok Washu"

She opened her eyes to see a fuzzy looking picture. She blinked until everything came into focus. Forcefield in front of her, reinforced concrete walls behind and to the sides of her and a lousy bed. Yep she was in a prison she thought.

"Hey Nagi. Like the view?" mocked Ryoko

Nagi looked at the plain whit walls and the blue forcefield "Not my colour" she stated

"What's up? Low on cash? You must be stupid to try attacking all of us." Asked Ryoko

"Actually I wasn't here for your bounties"

"You're not?" Asked a sceptical Ryoko

"Actually, I'm here to ask for your help" Replied a grinning Nagi

"Help…You want me? To help you? Ha…Ha…Haha….HAHAHAHAHAHAH" was the reply as Ryoko fell against the floor laughing like a maniac "Oh this is rich"

"Didn't think you'd believe me"

"Ok you obviously put a lot of work into this joke so let's hear the rest of it" Managed a still giggling Ryoko

"There's a bounty out on some guy who pissed off some very rich and extremely powerful people"

"SO?" managed a still sore Tenchi

"So I wanted to know if you'd help me kill him, collect the bounty and you could have whatever he has stashed away"

"What exactly does he have stashed away?" asked a by now interested Sasami

"Don't know exactly. He's been in the pirate business for a long time though if the rumours are true. Got quite a few big Jobs in his time to"

"Ok we're interested. Now get to why you need us and who this guy is" Demanded Washu

"I need you because I doubt even I can do this and I only know the name he goes by"

"That would be?" Demanded a losing his patience Tenchi

"The Darkwalker" replied Nagi in a slightly hushed tone

"Who?" asked Tenchi and Sasami together

"You're kidding…Right?" Asked Ryoko and Washu together

"First no I'm not kidding and second he's a legend. If the rumours and legends are true this guy is over three million years old and can't die… at least not that anybody has managed"

"Or even tried in the last two thousand years" added Washu

"Oh com'on how tough can he be against all six of us?" asked a sceptical Tenchi

"Tough enough that he walked right into a temple of Tokoimi, Stole her entire set of Worship stones and left without Tokimi even challenging him"

"Why not?" asked a confused Sasami "Isn't Tokimi the vengeful violent and all powerful elder god? Why would she be afraid of this Dirk Waker"

"That's Darkwalker Sasami and Tokimi didn't challenge him because the last three gods who tried to stop him died trying" Answered Ryoko

"WHAT I thought it was impossible to kill a god" said a startled Tenchi

"It's supposed to be, but obviously no one told this guy. It's even rumoured that he is a god. He's the self professed God Of Death" answered Washu in a remarkably serious voice

"I thought there was only a Goddess of Death" asked Ryoko

"There were rumours that she had an Assistant who got bored and left" said Washu "Of course it could just be another story like the story about him being able to Walk on the sun without getting burnt"

"But if he's that powerful why try" asked Sasami

"Because people don't think it's the real Darkwalker, We think it's some one using his image to get away with anything" said Nagi

"And just incase it was the real one no one would dare challenge him, I get it" shouted Sasami

"Ah what the hell let's do it" Grinned Ryoko

"Umm can I get out of this cell now?" asked Nagi

"Sure" replied Washu

"But no funny stuff" growled Tenchi

"Well let's go kill the God Of Death

"Oh are we going to Visit Darkwalker? He's so polite, very well mannered…And a great flirt" giggled Mihoshi

"**WHAT**" yelled everyone in the room

"You've met him?" asked Ryoko

"He didn't kill you?" asked Nagi

"How powerful is he?" demanded Washu

"Where does he live? DO you know?" asked Tenchi

"Is he Cute?" shouted Sasami (_Author: Sasami could you please wait till later before you start demanding things_) (Sasami: you promised) (_Author: Wait a bit will ya_)

"Yes, No, Very , Two delnoa drive on the fifth moon of Elonoght, Of course I just told you didn't I? And Yes he is very cute" replied Mihoshi to all the Questions.

"When did you meet him?" asked Washu

"Oh a couple of centuries ago" giggled Mihoshi

"Nagi where were we going to find this Dirt Maker?" asked a nervous Tenchi

"For the last Time It's DARKWALKER…D.A.R.K.W.A.L.K.E.R…DARKWALKER. Get it right and we were going to the exact same place as where the bubble head said…And we're still going…Right?" asked Nagi

"Hell yeah. If he's cute then I want to meet him" answered Sasami

"Looks like it's decided then" answered Washu matter a factly.

A few Hours later on board the Ryo-oki. Ryoko was piloting Tenchi was meditating (_Author: Wuss_) Sasami was playing with her…(Sasami: Say it and Die…Slowly) (_Author: Gulp)_ err hair Washu was typing on her holo computer Mihoshi was snoring and Nagi was just standing around.

"So that's it…looks nice" stated Ryoko as she brought Ryo-oki to a hover over what could best be described as a haunted mansion. Black, eerie, spooky and just basically damn scary looking.

"Shall we knock?" asked Tenchi trying to lighten the mood.

"S..Su..Sure on you go" Stammered Nagi

Slowly the group approached the front door. As they got closer they noticed that the sky looked darker from here. As Tenchi went to open the door it suddenly opened on it's own.

"Creepy" stated Sasami

Slowly the group crept into the house. They checked room after room until they finally hit what could only be described as the jackpot.

There was a ton of RARE jewel in one corner, shelves full of diamond statues of everything; a globe of the Planet Earth was sitting in the middle of the room. It had been carved out of pure black marble and the detail was incredible. Gold and silver statues and jewellery surrounded the room.

"To hell with bounty hunting I'm joining you, the retirement plan is much better" Stated Nagi

"That's one way of putting it, this stuff is worth Billions" stammered Tenchi

"OOOhhh this is pretty," shouted Mihoshi as she tried on a beautiful gold necklace with two perfect diamond spheres set in it.

"I wonder why no one ever thought of this before?" asked Ryoko as she started to help the others grab things and put them in bags.

"Maybe that's why!" said Washu in a shaky voice.

"What?" asked the group. They followed the point of Washu's finger until they noticed the five Worship stones of Tokimi on the wall.

"Maybe we should just take what we have and leave" suggested Sasami

"A better idea would be to just leave" came a voice from the shadows. "I must say I'm impressed most people aren't brave enough…or stupid enough to try this sort of thing"

"Who are you and where are you?" Shouted Tenchi looking around trying to find the owner of the voice

"I am Darkwalker…And there's no need to shout…I'm right here" as he appeared right behind Tenchi seemingly just coming from the shadows themselves.

"Wha…" Cried Tenchi as he backed Quickly away bringing up and activating Tenchi-ken at the same time. Ryoko and Sasami were beside him in an instant both with swords drawn and determined looks on there faces. Nagi had her whip drawn but was circling behind Darkwalker Mihoshi was just standing there smiling and waving at him.

"Hi Mr Darkwalker. Do you remember me?" she giggled

"Of course I do Miss Mihoshi. I see you are no longer with the Galaxy Police" came the reply.

"Why don't you come out of the shadows so we can get a good look at you? Asked Sasami

Slowly the figure moved closer until everyone could clearly see him

"Your not human" Yelled Tenchi

"What gave it away?" replied Darkwalker in a sarcastic tone of voice

Sasami giggled. Anyone could see that he was obviously not human. For one thing he had burning red eyes, there were no pupils in his eyes and his face seemed more cat like than human, actually quite similar to Ryoko's she thought. He was quite tall and well built, at least six foot tall and heavily muscled she guessed. He was dressed entirely in black. He don't put the fear of God into…Well gods without good reason she thought.

He didn't seem to be carrying any weapons that she could see. In that respect he was actually seemed even more dangerous. Here he was surrounded by the most feared Space pirates and Bounty hunter in the universe today all of them with weapons drawn and he wasn't even slightly intimidated. Scary. And he was pretty good looking if you looked at him from the right angle.

"It's okay you can put your weapons away, I'm not going to attack you unless you do something stupid" he said smiling. A smile that showed two large fangs.

"If it's all the same to you we'll keep them out thank you" Growled Tenchi

"Suit yourself" Replied Darkwalker in a very pleasant voice "But I would not recommend trying to attack me. I don't usually fight kids but don't think I wouldn't"

"Who are you calling a kid," yelled Washu, "I'm an Elder goddess and I'm sure I'm older than you"

"Doubt it" came the reply "I've been around a long time"

"I still say we get the bounty on this guy" Growled Nagi "We outnumber him six to one, we can take him"

"I'm not the God of Death for my good looks you know"

Sasami Giggled "You could have fooled me"

"Thank you"

Washu stepped forward now "Are you actually a real God? Or are you just acting like one?"

"I was the First Sin"

"When Cain murdered Able" gasped Washu

"I suppose you could say I was the real death, I was able to do anything I wanted, I could tell gods what to do, kill them if they bored me but it becomes boring after the first two billion years. So I decided to live in the Mortal world as Shinagami. I am still Immortal of course"

"Shinagami?" asked Tenchi

"God Of Death" explained Washu "So that explains why the Gods are afraid of you. You can still kill them can't you?"

Darkwalker just smiled

"Look as interesting as this is, I want this stuff, it's worth Billions" exclaimed Nagi

"Three point four five nine Billion to be exact" announced Darkwalker "And it's mine"

"Look how about a bet?" asked Ryoko

"Listening" was the reply

"We're the most feared space pirates in the universe and it's bad for our rep if we don't come back with something so how about a deal?"

"Still listening"

"You said you were bored with how life was. If we can defeat you in a fight we can take the stuff?"

"And if I win?"

"We put it back and you'll have had some fun…Deal?"

"Deal…With one little change"

"What?" asked Tenchi suspiciously

"If you lose you have to dust the house…You have no idea how much work it is to keep this place clean. Is it a deal?"

"Yes" They all answered

"Then let us begin"

Immediately Nagi leapt at him swinging her whip at his ankle hoping to pull him off balance. But he just moved to the side and as she flew past him brought his elbow down on he back. "Arrgghh" "Next" he asked looking totally calm. Ryoko and Tenchi flew at him going high and low, as Tenchi swung for his legs and Ryoko swung her sword at his throat he simply leant back to avoid Ryoko's slash and kicked his feet out at Tenchi's face, avoiding his attack and breaking his nose at the same time. (Ryoko: What about my favour) (_Author: I'm working on it_)

As Tenchi lay on the ground holding his nose and trying to stop the blood pouring out of it Ryoko went for Darkwalker again while Mihoshi started firing at him. Somehow he seemed to be able to avoid bullets as easily as Ryoko's sword since there wasn't even a scratch on him.

"Stay still and fight damn you" growled Ryoko as he ducked under another slash. 

"If you insist" he replied blocking her swing by grabbing her sword with his left hand. 

"What? How can you do that?" 

"It's complicated" he replied as he formed a pure black energy scythe in his right hand. "Now you wished to fight?"

Releasing her sword he swung the scythe up at her from an angle, she jumped back barely blocking the blow. 

Suddenly a bright red energy sword like her own stabbed through his chest she quickly followed up by stabbing her own sword into his gut as Sasami delivered a crushing roundhouse kick to his jaw. Ryoko smiled, so he was over rated she though as she removed her sword at the same time as Washu.

Instead of doubling over in pain like she expected however he laughed. Laughed. How we stabbed through the heart and Stomach broke his jaw and he's laughing?

"Very good…very good indeed. But enough of this Sesame Street is on soon" he stated as Nagi got up and stared in disbelief as the two holes in him vanished. The clothes were still ripped but he was unhurt. shit

Suddenly he brought the scythe up and slashed Ryoko's chest open Before spinning round and slicing Washu's stomach open. A quick kick to the face had Sasami unconscious while a Jab to the face dropped Tenchi…with a fresh nosebleed.

Nagi watched as four of her new group were either seriously injured or knocked out in less than ten seconds…Not good definitely not good. That only left her and the ditz against the God Of Death…Lousy odds.

As Mihoshi fired at Darkwalker though she saw her chance his back was turned to her and he was already busy attacking Mihoshi. She ran at him aiming for his throat with her whip.

Darkwalker smiled…Too easy he thought as he continued through on his upwards swing with the scythe he missed Mihoshi although he had never been aiming for her.

Nagi realised her mistake as he spun round and slammed the Scythe into her left shoulder. Her last thought before falling unconscious was that hurt…a lot

Not even bothering to look he shot his right leg out behind him slamming his heel into Mihoshi's gut effectively knocking her out cold. As he looked around at the bodies on the floor he smiled…his cleaner was going to have hell trying to get the blood stains out of the carpet.

Sasami woke up feeling like she'd just been on a week long bar crawl (Sasami: Now if you find a way to get that in the story I'd be get grateful) (_Author: How Grateful?_) (Sasami: Normal ending and no complaints) (_Author: Think about it_) to find herself in a room that could only be described as amazingly beautiful. She was lying on a four poster bed with priceless pictures all over, a beautiful mahogany desk sat in one corner with a bunch of half written stories lying on it.

"Ah your awake I see" came darkwalker's voice

"Where am I? Why aren't I dead? Where are my friends? Is this your room?" blurted out Sasami

"My Room, would you rather be dead? Healing and yes" came the calm and steady answers from an equally calm Darkwalker who was sitting on a expertly carved Oak chair beside the bed.

"Did you make that chair?" asked Sasami

"Yes, and everything else in this room" replied Darkwalker without any sign of emotion

"So why am I in your room?" asked Sasami with a Slight smile on her face

"You were less severely hurt than your friends for which I apologise I did not mean to hurt them like that but they will be fine don't worry" he said with a perfectly straight face. However a smile spread across his face as he said "And you're in my room because you're cute"

"Cute or sexy?" asked Sasami in a very flirty voice

"Which do you prefer?"

"Shut up and Kiss me" ordered Sasami

"My pleasure" was all she heard

****

DUE TO TIME CONSTRAINTS CENSORING WILL CONTINUE

Mean while elsewhere in the mansion

"Oh my head" moaned Tenchi as he staggered out a glass capsule

"Never mind your head what about my shoulder?" Asked Nagi wandering out a similar capsule feeling her shoulder where the scythe had gone through. Amazingly there was no mark whatsoever.

"To hell with us where's Sasami?" asked a very concerned Ryoko

"Amazing" muttered Washu "These capsule's must be advanced healing machines of some sort"

"Arrrggh" cried Tenchi

"What? What's wrong Tenchi?" asked an alarmed Ryoko. It was just then that she realised that she was, like everyone else, completely naked.

"Hey Tenchi's pretty excited" taunted Washu

"Tenchi immediately tried to hide it but everyone saw what Washu meant (_Author: One favour for Washu completed_) (Ryoko: MOM)

"Hey Tenchi, why isn't your nose bleeding?" asked Mihoshi

"HUH?" blurted out Tenchi as he reached up to his face to check, completely forgetting about modesty until Nagi, Mihoshi and Washu started with the appreciative whistles.

"Arrghh" cried Tenchi once more

"Hmmm" started Washu as she typed something into her holo Laptop. "It seems that that broken nose of yours had some benefits, it looks like your nosebleeds around naked woman will finally stop"

"YES" cried Ryoko as she punched the air in triumph (Ryoko: Author you are the Greatest) (_Author: I Know_)

As they changed back into their clothes they talked about what could have happened to Sasami

Suddenly Ryoko and Nagi both lifted their heads and looked at each other grinning

"Guess we don't have to worry about Sasami anymore" stated Nagi

"Wonder who'll last longest?" asked Ryoko with a grin

Later on as they were headed towards the moans Nagi started talking.

"So you and Tenchi finally got together?"

"Yep"

"He any good?"

"Hands Off" warned Ryoko

"Easy there, I'm just worried that he's using my little sister for quick sex" The words were dripping with sarcasm although neither one of them felt hatred towards the other any more.

"Since when?"

"Five seconds ago"

"That long ago?"

"Yep"

"I still say keep your hands off"

"Pity…anything else I can't use?"

As they rounded a corner they passed a large window which showed some fields. "Pretty weird place he has here" commented Nagi 

"Yep" Replied Washu.

"Hey is that Ryo-oki?" asked Tenchi looking out to the fields

"Of course…Where else would Ryo-oki be other than a carrot field" sighed Ryoko

"Leave her this now, we need to find Sasami" Said Nagi

"Didn't know you cared Nagi" said a very untidy and sweaty looking Sasami

"I don't" replied Nagi grinning "I just want to know how good is he?"

"Damn good" giggled Sasami "Ryoko can I keep him please?" begged Sasami putting on her best puppy dog look

"As much as I would like to go with you Sasami I cannot" Stated a perfectly calm and composed (especially considering what had just happened) Darkwalker from behind Sasami. "I am glad to see that you have all fully recovered, I did not mean to hurt you that badly"

"You just wanted us to be able to dust" sneered Ryoko

"Oh don't worry, I have maids for that"

"You mean you fought us just for the sake of it?" asked an incredulous Tenchi

"Basically….Yes"

"You said you couldn't come home with us. Why not?" asked Mihoshi

"I have a long standing fight with Yosho. I do not think you would approve of me killing him"

"Actually I do, he's been giving me way to much work lately" answered Tenchi

"And that means I get less "Happy Time" with Tenchi" pouted Ryoko

"And that means Ryoko moans all the time" added Sasami

"And I have to listen to it through the link" Stated Washu

"You know what Ryoko's like when she's grumpy" added Nagi

"And I can't watch cartoons because Yosho is always putting on the politics Channel" complained Mihoshi

"No cartoons? He must face the wrath of The GOD OF DEATH" said the Darkwalker.

"Do you ever show emotions?" asked Nagi

"Yes" replied Sasami and Darkwalker together with grins on their faces

"Oh and you can still take any of the jewels and gold you want but the Worship Stones STAY."

"You were that good Sasami?" asked Ryoko with a naughty look on her face. "Way to go"

Sasami just stood there and blushed…bright red

"Hey I think I should get a shot" said Nagi while advancing on Darkwalker with a seductive smile.

"Get the hell away from my Boyfriend" (Sasami: THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU AUTHOR [Has Author in bear like hug]) (_Author: [gasping for air] Your….welco…..me Sasami…I…Need…Ai…r_) yelled Sasami " Maybe later if your good" she added with a smile and winked at Nagi.

Later the group began the hard job of trying to get Ryo-oki to leave the carrots alone long enough to fly them back to Earth. Eventually they just gave up and waited for Ryo-oki to finish all the carrots before heading off. "My Gardener is going to hate me" mumbled Darkwalker

As soon as Ryo-oki touched down and beamed them off she turned back into a Cabbit and went off to the carrot fields with an eager look on her face. "Does she ever stop eating?" asked Tenchi

"Nope" stated Washu perfectly deadpan

"TENCHI, where have you been there are chores to do. The steps need cleaned, The onsen needs fixed and…" Yosho suddenly stopped talking as he caught sight of Darkwalker

Yosho immediately leapt into the air and summoned Tenchi-ken from Tenchi as activating it as soon as he had it in his hand bringing it down in a deadly swing aiming for Darkwalker's neck.

Just before the sword connected Darkwalker jumped back easily avoiding the blow while bringing his scythe into existence.

"You've goten old" taunted Darkwalker as he effortlessly avoided another of Yosho's attacks.

"You are still a coward" grunted Yosho as he tried again to hit Darkwalker "Stand and fight"

"Very well, prepare to meet your maker" said Darkwalker as he lunged forward slashing at Yosho's exposed chest only for Yosho to duck under and counter with his own stab at Darkwalker's heart which he easily avoided by throwing himself backwards before resuming the attack.

The rest of them just sat and watched as the two warriors exchanged blows thrusts cut parries and counter counter attacks.

"Let's leave them to it" suggested Ryoko.

"Yeah we might as well start carting this stuff in the house" stated Nagi.

And so they started carrying sacks and boxes of loot, jewels, statues to the house around the two combatants while Mihoshi watched cartoons (Would you trust Mihoshi with delicate and expensive statues???). They were all still at it six hours later.

"Aren't they nearly done yet?" complained Sasami

"Nope" replied Washu

"At least Mihoshi got to watch her cartoons" mentioned Nagi.

"What's the matter Yosho? Getting tired?" taunted Darkwalker as he caught the side of Yosho's arm leaving a thick trail of blood down his arm.

"Just stay dead this time" growled Yosho

"Nah to boring…and so is this!" as he suddenly leapt forward stabbing himself on Yosho's blade as he swung the scythe up and through Yosho's back killing him slowly and painfully.

"Add another to my score" was all Darkwalker simply said as he turned round spun the scythe in his hand and opened his fist as the scythe and hole disappeared.

"Show off" teased Sasami

"You never complained before" (Tenchi: The Author is god) (_Author: Damn right I am_)

The funeral had been quick, people had come up saying they were sorry and it had been announced that Tenchi would take over the shrine.

He had no problem with this, it meant he got to choose his own hours and even though he still did his chores he did them when and if he wanted.

Everyone was just lounging about a few day's later. Not much had changed other than Nagi and Ryoko had put their past's aside and were now actually getting along very well. Sasami was now officially dating Darkwalker who was now simply called Walker since it was shorter. Mihoshi was still Mihoshi, Washu was still inventing, Ryoko and Tenchi were still at it although Tenchi no longer had any nosebleeds. The only surprise was that Ryo-oki was drunk…on carrots!!!

(_Author: Sasami you might want to get away from the window_) (Sasami: Why?)

"**MY CLOTHES**"

Author grins as Sasami stalks towards him

"Well at least you warned me this time" said a smiling Sasami

****

ONCE AGAIN THIS PART IS CENSORED DUE TO MINORS

Author: Once again I am a genius

Washu: But I am still THE NUMBER ONE SCIENTIFIC GENIUS IN THE UNIVERSE…and the cutest

All: Right [Sweatdrop]

Sasami: Hey what happened to my orgy?

Author: Due to time constraints you could only have had either an orgy or a boyfriend

Sasami: BOYFRIEND

Author: So stop complaining

Tenchi: Did you have to break my nose though?

Author: No…But it was more fun

Ryoko: At least I don't have to get blood out of the bed sheets anymore

Author: You still owe me for that Ryoko

Ryoko: Later

Washu: Well done I say three cheers for the Author

Author: Only Three?

Washu: Hip hip

All: HOORRAYY

Washu: Hip hip

All: HOORRAYY

Washu: Hip hip

All: HOORRAYY

Author: Goddamn I'm good…At being bad.


	5. Vampires

****

Vampires

Author: I guess I ought to write another story

Cast: YOU THINK?

Author: Well I think it's time for a messed up story

Cast: Shit

Author: I am willing to take cash, visa, master card and Switch

Cast: Here take

Author: Let the story begin (_grinning like a cat_)

"I'll kill you Mihoshi" came the familiar warcry of Washu as she chased a fleeing Mihoshi around the Masaki Residence. An everyday occurrence really, when you considered everything.

"I was only trying to help Washu" Bubbled a hysterical Mihoshi as she avoided get another energy bolt that Washu fired at her which proceeded to hit the wall and destroy another side of the house which began to collapse.

"You just destroyed eight months of work" screamed Washu.

"But you only started yesterday? Stated a confused Mihoshi as she stopped to think about what Washu had just said.

Washu however forgot to slow down as she gained on her prey and collided with a tree that she didn't notice, just as she prepared to fire another energy bolt at Mihoshi which instead hit the tree causing it to topple over and hit her on the head.

"WASHU" yelled Tenchi.

"YOU'RE DEAD MEAT MOM" cried Ryoko

"I'LL KILL YOU" screamed Sasami.

"Just as I was getting to the good part" muttered the still emotionless Walker.

"WHAT HAPPENED TO THE TELLY" screamed Nagi.

"MEOW" hissed Ryo-oki.

"What did I do?" asked an incredulous Washu as she stood facing an extremely hostile crowd…Well except from Mihoshi who was still lost in thought (_Author: A very rare thing_) and the stone faced Walker who was staring at Sasami's ass.

"You brought the house down on me and Tenchi while we were Screwing!" was the terse reply from Ryoko.

You destroyed my wall just as I was about to screw Walker!" screamed an irate Sasami.

"Meow meow meow" Hissed Ryo-oki.

"You made me lose the reception for the ladies only channel" hissed Nagi

"SHE DID WHAT?" asked Sasami, Ryoko and Mihoshi.

"I think I should break another of her gadgets for that muttered Mihoshi as she reached for a small black box she saw on Washu's belt.

Now this got the same reaction from everyone…Even Walker "NO"

To late

!"£$%^&*()()^%!"£$%^&*()*%$^£^$%*(£^ Were only a few of the profanities muttered as they all picked them selves of the ground. Looking around they saw that they were all here although they had different clothes on.

Ryoko's outfit was jeans and a sleeveless white top with a red leather jacket, Sasami was wearing N…(Sasami: Author how many times do I have to say this to you?) (_Author: A few more_) Leather trousers and black short sleeved t- shirt. Nagi was in a pair of cut off short jeans and a sleeveless red top. (Nagi: How come I got the slutty outfit?) (_Author: Because Sasami threatened to kill me if I gave it to her_)

Washu was in pair of loose trousers and White shirt, while Mihoshi was wearing A black Nike tracksuit. Tenchi and Walker were both dressed in black…

Black trousers, Shirts and coats. The only difference was that Tenchi had a short leather jacket and Walker had a long leather jacket.

"What the hell just happened?" asked a very confused Tenchi.

"Mihoshi teleported us to an alternate reality" grumbled Washu.

"Normally we would complain but now we can just let Walker send us back" giggled Sasami. The Tenchi gang has bad luck with other realities usually.

"It doesn't work like that actually, It has to have been me that made the portal to the other reality so I can't actually help this time." Said the still emotionless Walker (_Author: You are supposed to show emotion_)(Walker: I don't do emotion)(_Author: Want to bet on that_)(Sasami: What are you up to)(_Author: nothing [Looks innocent]_)

"Well at least we can let you use your powers to kill anything this time" exclaimed Nagi looking at Walker.

"Again it's not quite that simple".

"WHAT" came the screeched reply.

"You mean that mister I can kill gods without working up a sweat is powerless in alternate realties?" asked Ryoko.

"No I can only use my full power against Gods, Minor Gods and in my house, but I am still pretty tough".

"How tough?" asked Tenchi.

"Tough" came the deadpan reply.

"Where are we anyway?" asked Sasami.

"In a cemetery" stated Nagi sarcastically.

"We should split up and go find out where we are" stated Washu "Walker you and Ryoko check out the surrounding area, Sasami, you and Nagi check out the local area while Mihoshi, Tenchi and me set up an underground base to live in".

"Fine" muttered Ryoko.

"Whatever" said the still goddamned fucking emotionless Walker. (_Author: last chance_)(Walker: Screw you)(_Author: you asked for it_)

"Sure" replied the rest.

As soon as Nagi and Sasami were away from the others they started talking.

"Well if we're to check the local area does that include the local pubs and clubs?" asked Sasami.

"I don't know, we probably should" replied Nagi.

"It would be a bit irresponsible though".

"We flip a coin, Tails we check them out and heads we check them out" grinned Nagi.

"Sounds fair" grinned back Sasami.

"Call".

"Head".

"Filthy minded little girl, tails…Guess we'll have to check them out".

"DAMN" laughed both girls as they started to ward s the city.

Meanwhile Ryoko and Walker were in a different type of conversation in the third cemetery they had found.

"Why don't these asshole's die" growled Ryoko.

"Don't know" muttered Walker as he brought his Scythe up through the arm of the Guy walking towards him cutting it of completely.

"And another Question what happened to your energy scythe? Why is a metal one? And more importantly why is my sword metal?" as she flew in to the air to avoid a slash from the girl who was trying to gut her before firing an energy blast at the ground in front of the girl sending her flying.

Suddenly the one in front of Walker turned to dust as he swung his scythe up through it's neck and continued down through the side of the girl that Ryoko had just blasted back.

"Take the heads off" said Walker conversationally to Ryoko without any emotion. (Walker: So much for your warning)(_Author; I'm getting there_)

After they had finished with the dust bad guys Walker said one word which explained everything to Ryoko.

"Vampires".

"Why can't we have just one normal week without something happening?" asked Ryoko.

"I ask myself that a lot to, Still trying to find an answer" came a female voice from the other side of the cemetery.

"Who are you?" growled Ryoko.

"I'm Buffy, The vampire demon and everyday bad guy slayer" said Buffy as she walked to were they could see each other clearly. She wasn't sure what these two were but they both had long sharp pointy fangs in their mouths so she was willing to say Vampires.

The female one was about 5"10 and dressed in tight jeans and a white top with a red leather jacket. She had cat like eyes and a clearly aggressive look. The male was taller, close to six feet four and well built and dressed in black. Actually quite human till you saw his face. Sharp pointed teeth with two long fangs and red burning cat like eyes.

This Buffy was hardly threatening they decided as she was short and didn't look to be particularly strong. She had blonde hair and wore the same clothes as Ryoko.

"Want to tell me what you want here?" asked Buffy as she walked up to them.

"Sex, Money, Hamburgers" smirked Ryoko

"How about slow painful deaths" grinned Buffy as she faced them "By the way your names?"

"Why do you want to know?" Asked the still emotionless Walker.

"I like to know who I'm slaying"

"Names Ryoko"

"Walker"

"Nice to meet you" growled Buffy as she Leapt forward kneeing Walker in the balls and managing to get some show of emotion from him even if it was just pain (_Author: the author will not be ignored for long_)(Walker; Groans)(Sasami: If you've)(_Author: don't worry he still works_) before stabbing a Stake through his heart and stepping back.

"This is the bit where you turn to dust remember?" stated a surprised looking Buffy as a very pissed of looking Walker straightened up with hate in his face.

"Leave me the leftovers" laughed Ryoko as she leaned against the headstone.

"There won't be any leftovers" growled Walker as he leapt at Buffy with his usual grace. And murderous intent towards his prey.

Not good not good not good thought Buffy as Walker not only didn't turn to dust but got up and flew at her. Even with her slayer strength and healing this wasn't going well, She was momentarily distracted by something in the corner of her eye, which cost her as Walker grabbed her by the throat and simply flung her into one of the headstones which shattered under the impact.

Just as he was about to finish Buffy of walker felt something slam into his back where his heart was…followed by a slash along his back. This was going to be a long night he thought as he turned to face his new attackers.

Meanwhile Sasami and Nagi had finished touring the city and were heading into the only club they had been able to find

"Are you sure this is the only club?" asked Nagi

"Yep" replied Sasami as they walked into the club. She couldn't quite remember its name… The Gold or something like that.

Inside it was an everyday sort of club, flashing lights cheap drink and single guys and girls all over the place with people dancing on the dance floor. In particular one girl caught Nagi's eye. She was five foot nineish and dark haired with a good body decided Nagi (Nagi: WHAT)(_Author: I'm bored_)(Sasami: [_Giggling_] Nagi looks cute when she's angry)(Nagi; Don't you side with him as well).

"Nice ass" whispered Nagi to Sasami while still keeping her eyes on the seductive dancing of the dark haired girl.

"So go dance already I'll go get a drink for us" said Sasami who had to admit that Nagi was right. (Sasami: WHAT)(_Author: Here we go again_)

As Sasami walked away to see about getting them some drinks Nagi went up and started dancing alongside the dark haired girl. Pretty soon they started to dance with each other as pretty much every guy in the club was watching these two girls practically clamber all over each other. 

Sasami was busy downing her fourth Jack Daniel's and coke when the club suddenly exploded in to cheers. Looking round she saw that Nagi had her tongue down the girl's throat and her hands were places that they shouldn't really be in public.

"Not bad" smiled Nagi as she looked at the other girl's face after breaking off their tongue fight.

BEEP BEEP BEEP.

"Sorry gotta go" was the last thing Nagi heard from the dark haired girl as she ran through the crowd and out the door.

"Have fun?" smirked Sasami as Nagi sat at the bar with her.

Smiling Nagi looked at Sasami before downing her pint and replying "OH YEAH"

Ryoko was smiling. Now that someone else was fighting with Walker… actually quite a few people were, that meant she got to have a shot at Miss Slow And Painful Death's Buffy. Barley giving her enough time to stand she created her sword which was still metal and really beginning to bug her. And swung at Buffy's throat.

Buffy quickly rolled away from the swing and standing up looked around for a weapon to defend herself with against this Ryoko.

"Buffy catch" screamed some Red head that Ryoko didn't know as she flung a sword towards Buffy. While waiting for Buffy to catch the sword Ryoko looked about. Walker was fighting a group of people who obviously weren't human since they had fangs and ridges down the front of their faces. One was Blonde and slim while the other was dark and broad.

Some other guy's were firing what looked like crossbow bolts at him from a distance and some black guy was sneaking up on him with an axe.

She just caught sight of some girl jumping the fence and heading towards him with a wicked looking knife where can I get one of those

Suddenly Buffy went back on the offensive with a series of quick slashes from her newly acquired weapon. Flying back quickly she spotted the red head doing some weird signs in the air and realising that she was casting some sort of spell fired an energy blast at her taking her out of the fight.

"WILLOW" cried Buffy as she saw her friend get blasted by Ryoko as she lashed out at her stomach. "You'll pay for that" growled Buffy with renewed determination.

"You're out of your league Blondie give up" even as she teleported behind and delivered a quick light cut to her left leg.

This could be trouble realised Buffy.

Walker could think of very little right now other than he was pissed off and his new clothes were getting ruined. He had a stake in his chest, two bolts in his back and a sword slash along his shoulder blades. "That does it who's first" he growled as some Blonde Vampire strode towards him "You'll do".

"What you don't want to talk to old Spike…I'm hurt" came the rather English sounding voice.

"You will soon" as Walker delivered a quick left to Spikes face while suddenly bringing his Scythe into play by slashing out at the tall one with the sword who barley managed to block the swing in time.

Bloody hell that hurt" Exclaimed Spike as he staggered back reeling from the blow he looked up in time to see another two bolts slam into Walker. One in the throat the other in his right shin just before that scythe came slashing down across his stomach.

"No THAT hurt" Smirked Walker even as he moved to deal with those god damned crossbows When he decided it was time to deal with the kid trying to sneak up on him with the axe.

Stalking forward he suddenly spun round and flew towards his prey slamming the scythe down through the black kids gut and pinning him to the deck.

"Gunn, Faith get Gunn I'll deal with him" shouted Angel as he slashed at Walkers gut ineffectively and forced him to retreat from the injured Gunn as Faith lifted him and carried him over to Giles, Xander and Wesley who immediately tried to stop the bleeding. Quickly Faith ran back towards the fight grabbing the scythe as she went. "Have a taste of your own medicine" as she flung the scythe towards his head.

Walker took a second to judge the situation. Buffy; In trouble with Ryoko, No threat Gunn: unconscious Crossbows; trying to help Gunn. Spike: Getting up, stupid move Blondie. Angel: pissing me off. Faith: throwing scythe at head.

Having decided what to do he quickly darted to the side and leapt straight for Spike as the Scythe slammed into Angels chest lifting him of the ground a pinning him to the wall of a crypt. Shoulder tackling Spike to the ground he quickly grabbed Spikes shirt lifted him up and punched him in the gut a few times before throwing him at the crossbow bunch as he drew a throwing dagger from his belt and threw it straight into Faiths leg causing her to fall.

Walking over to faith the last thing he was expecting was for her to pull the dagger out and hurl it back at him, ducking under the blade he watched as it flew straight into the back of Buffy taking her out of the fight before grabbing Faith's ankle and spinning her around before throwing her into an empty grave.

"You really pissing me of" shouted Angel as he managed to free himself from the wall and advancing on Walker he let the sword slip from his grasp, he just wanted to pummel this guy to death.

"What you just gonna ignore me…BAD IDEA" grinned Ryoko as she kicked him in the gut and raised her knee into his face. She was sort of disappointed when he didn't get back up.

"Come on let's go get Washu" growled Walker as he started to pick all the bolts and Stakes that had been stabbed into him out. "I need another suit" as they walked off the scooby gang looked at their backs and stated crawling back to Giles' house to lick there wounds…so to speak.

At Giles' home the mood was uneasily silent and quiet.

"Would someone like to explain all this to me?" asked Xander "cause I'm a little lost as to how we got our butts kicked so easy".

"Who were they Giles?" asked Willow who was slowly recovering from the blast Ryoko had given her.

"First things first, what are you doing here Angel?" asked Buffy cutting off Giles. Everyone turned to face the bloody pulp that resembled Angel sitting in the chair opposite her.

"Ironically I was supposed to be protecting you"

"Yeah B, Cordy got a vision which showed you…Well lets just say that if we hadn't shown up you would be in a lot worse shape IE DEAD. That guy was whipping your ass till we showed". Butted in Faith

"Anyway I thought you would like to know that Gunn will be ok" stated Giles "I just finished talking to Cordellia and the doctors have got him stabilised". The rooms atmosphere visibly rose at this good news.

"However we have found out about our mystery opponents" mentioned Wesley with a very worried face.

"Good how do I kill them?" asked Buffy glad to know that they finally found something to use.

"We can't".

"WHAT" exclaimed the whole room.

"What do you mean we can't kill them? Giles talk to me" questioned Buffy.

"If those were indeed there real names then we have a very serious problem on our hands. This Ryoko is mentioned as some one who controls the very spirits of demons and can summon them forth from any solid object…Even people"

"So the Bitch is gonna be tough to kill?" asked Faith "what makes her invincible"

"She can regrow lost body parts in a few seconds…including her head, She fly's, fires energy blasts and doesn't breath or need to eat" Answered Wesley.

"Forgetting about supergirl for a second what about the guy?" asked Xander.

"Even worse" answered Giles "It seems that this Walker is actually the Darkwalker"

"WHO" asked the room

"He's not human an" started Wesley

"Never have guessed that" came the sarcastic remark from Faith.

"But he's not a demon either, it seems that he is in fact the physical form of Death…A sort of real life Grim Reaper"

"That explains the Scythe but shouldn't he have a cloak on and look like a skeleton or something" asked Faith.

"So he's different from your run of the mill bad guys…How do I kill him" demanded Buffy.

"You can't he truly is immortal, he regenerates any would instantly and is extremely str" stated Giles as the door suddenly flew in to reveal a startling sight.

Walker standing there with Ryoko and Nagi beside him while Sasami leaned against him. But the thing, which held Buffy and the rest of the Scooby gang's attention, was Dawn standing in front of him, smiling.

"Well aren't you going to invite me in?" asked Walker.

"Hey Faith wanna dance?" asked Nagi.

"Think you've got an admirer Faith" smirked Sasami.

"Oh cookies" grinned Ryoko looking at the table.

"Invite you in you're kidding right" asked Xander.

"Not a chance now bitch" Growled Faith.

"No cookies" said Willow moving the cookies out of sight.

"DAWN move they're dangerous" screamed Buffy as she tried to stop the Horrible act she knew she was about to see.

"Oh well just come over to the seventh street Cemetery then" smiled Walker as they turned and left…Including Dawn.

"What just happened?" asked Angel.

"Dawn…" muttered Willow.

"Let's go," said Buffy as she and Faith started Walking.

Ten minutes later, "No way" "Twenty quid" "You're on" "Ok 5…4…3…2…1…Now".

"Let my sister go" screamed Buffy as the rest of the gang crowded round her.

"Damn" cursed Nagi as she handed over twenty quid to Walker " How did you know they were coming" she asked

Smiling Walker faced her and said "Smelt em three blocks away"

"Buffy stop" said Dawn they don't want to fight.

"Only cause they don't want to get their asses kicked," said an unusually aggressive Willow.

"Ok let's get a few things straightened out" said Walker "First of you're the ones who got their asses kicked by only two of us not four and if dead boy doesn't stop trying to sneak round behind us I'll gut him and rip his leg off"

He had barley finished talking as Angel sprang at him only to see him slide left and slash at his guts with his scythe before using it to slice of his right arm.

"ARGHHH FUCK"

"ANGEL" cried Buffy

"Warned him" stated the emotionless (_Author that's it_)(Walker: Now what)(_Come here now whisper whisper_)(Walker: Deal)

"Now all we need is some blood from each of you and then we can go home after Dawny here opens a portal for us using your blood…Of course if you don't want to give us your blood well…Look behind you" he said in a genuinely happy mood (Tenchi Cast: What's going on?)

As they did they saw Washu, Tenchi and Mihoshi standing behind them.

"Buffy they didn't even mean you any harm you just attacked them and well they fought back…Just better than you fight" said Dawn "now give them the goddamn blood".

One by one they all gave some blood until only Buffy, Willow and Angel refused. "No goddamn way am I giving them any blood" growled Buffy.

"Sorry Dawn I told you it'd be the hard way" said an almost apologetic Walker.

"Yeah me to, Faith can you carry them home?" asked Dawn.

"What?"

Suddenly Walker and Ryoko flew towards Buffy and Willow punching each in the face…HARD. Blood Flowed freely down their faces.

"Oh don't worry dead boy we've got enough of your blood" smirked Walker

"Okay do your thing dawn" said Ryoko.

"See ya" as she started chanting

"Bye" said Sasami

!"£$&)(&*^%$£%^&*()(*&^%$!£"^&%^%£^%*)%$£")£&^%&$£^*&^&*"%^"%£^*"&^$£"(&%()!^%$"&"^*(%^$£&*^^&%$"$)^%&*"^$*)$^%&*^$)%&*^%*)^ "THAT'S THE LAST TIME I TRAVEL ECONEMY" YELLED Walker as he picked himself up as the others did the same around him.

"Well I think I know what to do to stop this happening again" said Sasami as she grabbed the Alternate reality device of Washu and smashed it off the wall.

"Hey Simpson's is on telly" shouted Mihoshi

"Home sweet home" muttered Nagi

(_Author:5…4…3…3…2…1…HaHa_)

"AUTHOR WHERE ARE YOU" screamed a once again fully naked Sasami

(Walker: You promised that you wouldn't do that if I showed emotion)(_Author: I lied_)[dumps Walker in Alaska]

"Found you" grins Sasami

"AUTHOR WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES" demanded a very angry and naked Nagi… "Nice ass Sasami" smiled Nagi as she walked towards Sasami

(_The author has cramp in his fingers and is finished now_)

Author: Finished

Cast: About time

Sasami: what kind of ending was that

Nagi: A good one

Author: I agree

Walker: I'll kill you

Author: You back already

Sasami: Sorry Walker Nagi and I are busy right now

Walker: So you kept your promise

Author: Hell yeah

Ryoko: And it was one hell of a show

QUESTION SHOW

__

By Sasami

Should this ending replace the old ending = 

Are the fights better with more blood = 

Should I start a new series = 


End file.
